


Save Me

by Uhavetobekiddingme



Category: Avenged Sevenfold, Slipknot (Band)
Genre: Comedy, Drama, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Romance, Romantic Comedy, Smut, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:53:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 22
Words: 37,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26519323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Uhavetobekiddingme/pseuds/Uhavetobekiddingme
Summary: Lexi is Zacky's best friend. Matt is dying to be with Lexi. Will Lexi let Matt in? What secret is she hiding?
Relationships: M. Shadows/Original Character(s)
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

"You need Starbucks that fucking bad, man?" I groaned at Brian as he drove. 

"Fuck you, Sanders. And yes, I do." Brian grumbled at me. 

"Me too!" Jimmy yelled from the backseat of the car. 

"No!" We yelled in unison. 

"Pussies." Jimmy mumbled. 

Brian pulled into the parking lot of Starbucks for his over priced coffee. Fucking diva. I grumbled and got out of the car with them. 

The three of us made our way inside the building and stood in line. Jimmy was antsy as usual and could barely sit still. I rolled my eyes and grabbed a newspaper nearby. Scanning the articles briefly, I saw something out of the corner of my eye through the window. Lowering the newspaper, I continued to stare out the window at the sight before me. 

There was a girl in the parking lot with the hood up on her black Dodge Charger. Hmm. Interesting. Jimmy gave me and odd look, then stared in the same direction as me. 

The jeans she wore clung to a very nice figure. A nicely fitted Nirvana shirt covered the top of her. Black Converse shoes. Long wavy light brown hair that hung past her shoulders. I'm definitely interested. 

"Damsel in distress!" Jimmy grinned, making his way to the door. 

Ahhhhhh, shit! 

Brian just laughed at me. I watched as Jimmy approached her in his normal hyper fashion. The girl jumped and hit the back of her head on the top of the hood that was propped open. 

"Oh for fucksake, Jim!" Brian groaned. 

"I may need to do damage control here." I grinned, heading for the door. 

The girl stared up at Jimmy with wide eyes, gently rubbing the back of her head. Jimmy was talking a hundred Miles an hour. God only knows what the hell he has said to her. 

"Need some help?" I asked her. 

Damn. 

That's all I can say when she turned to look at me. If I wasn't already taken by the little I saw of her, I'm sold now. She's a beautiful woman. 

But the eyes She has. Jesus christ, I've never seen anything like them. She has the most haunting grey eyes I've ever seen. Kind of like David Bowie's eyes. They are so pale that it's the first thing you notice about her. Well, I did notice her incredibly full lips too. Perfect pink. Damn, I want to feel them on my own. 

"Are you ok?" I grinned at her. 

"Um, yeah. I'm fine." She said quietly. 

"I was just telling her that I was more than happy to help. Dickhead." Jimmy glared at me. 

"Uh huh. How's Leana?" I smiled, getting a death glare from him. 

"She's fantastic. Asshole." He smirked. 

I turned back to her and smiled. She gave me a nervous, almost confused little grin. 

"So, what is the issue?" I asked, looking under the hood. 

"Nothing I can't handle. Just adding oil. Trying to anyway." She said, glancing at Jimmy. 

"Hey! I saved your life, missy." Jimmy grinned at her. 

"Fucking hell, Jimmy." I laughed, grabbing the oil container from him. 

I glanced up at her and smirked. 

"Don't ever let him touch anything." I said. 

She nodded a little, still appearing nervous. She glanced around the parking lot a little. She seems awfully nervous. Maybe she's shy? Or maybe she recognized us. I grinned to myself a little and put the cap back on the oil lid. I closed the hood and saw Brian walking up. He smirked at us, then eyed up the girl standing next to her car. She glanced at him, then looked away. 

"Um, thank you. I should go." She said in the same quiet voice. 

"No problem. What's your name?" I asked her. 

"Lexi." She said, glancing at us. 

"Come on, we gotta go! Kiss your girlfriend goodbye, Matty!" Jimmy yelled out. 

I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment and sighed. Brian let out a laugh. I opened my eyes and smiled at her. 

"You'll have to excuse him. We try not to leave him unattended most days." I smiled at her. 

"I can understand why." She said. 

The way she said it, it sounded almost serious. Hell, maybe she was, who knows? Either way, it made Brian and I chuckle. 

"I'm Matt by the way." I grinned at her. 

"I gathered that Matty wasn't your real name. At least I had hoped not." She said with a straight face. 

There is something about the way She says things that I find hilarious. I have no idea if she's being serious or not, but I find it amusing. 

"Makes two of us." I grinned. 

"This has been heartwarming, and also awkward." Brian chimed in with a smile at us. 

Lexi raised an eyebrow at a smirking Brian. I rolled my eyes at him. Leave it to him to be a dick about everything. 

"And I'm Brian." He smiled at her. 

"Right. Nice meeting you guys." She said, getting in her car. 

Brian and I stood and watched her drive away. Both of us looked at each other curiously. 

"Think she's a fan?" He asked. 

"Actually, I don't think she is. She's not nervous because of who we are. I think people make her nervous in general." I muttered. 

"Kind of makes ya wonder why." Brian said. 

"It does." I sighed. 

"Let's go man. We are supposed to meet the Berry's at the studio." Brian said. 

It was such a strange encounter for us. Most fans we meet are the nervous excited. Not this girl. This girl is nervous about life is what I can tell. I'm not sure why it bothers me so much, but it does. And it was all I could think of the whole way to the studio too. 

Once we got there, we headed inside and met the Berry's. We discussed things about when the next tour would be and the places we would be heading to. 

I'm not looking forward to touring at the moment. The girl I was with for three years recently broke it off and moved out. I'm not exactly ready to put on an act for the public. Guess I don't have a choice. 

Who knows? Maybe my breakup was for the best. I guess we will see.


	2. Chapter 2

"Guys!" Jimmy yelled, getting our attention. 

We had been at the studio for about an hour after hitting Starbucks. With an upcoming tour, we had a lot to discuss. 

"Yes?" I grinned at Jimmy. 

"Zacky said he should be here soon. Something about meeting our new photographer for the tour." He said, staring at his phone. 

"Glad he found time for us." Johnny quipped. 

That is very unlike Zack to be this late. Especially when we are talking about going on tour. 

Fifteen minutes later, I heard Zack enter the studio. He was speaking with someone we couldn't see. I heard a quiet female voice and all of us perked up at it. 

"Come on. I'll introduce you." Zack said, pulling someone around the corner. 

"Son of a bitch!" Jimmy laughed when he saw her. 

No fucking way! It's the girl from the parking lot of Starbucks. Those haunting grey eyes stared at us rather surprised. 

"You'll have to excuse Jimmy. That's all I can say." Zack smiled at her. 

"It's fine." She said quietly. 

"Didn't we just meet?" Brian smiled at her. 

Zack cocked an eyebrow at him. I still can't speak. I didn't expect this today at all. 

"Yeah. We did. Brian, right?" She asked him. 

"Uh huh." Brian smirked. 

I hit him in the arm and glared. Brian cleared his throat and smiled. 

"You guys know each other already?" Zack asked confused. 

"We met in the parking lot of Starbucks. I saved her life." Jimmy shrugged. 

Zack looked at Lexi confused. She looks just as confused as Zack does. I'm sure Jimmy will take some getting used to for her. 

"I was adding oil to my car. I was doing fine until Jimmy insisted on helping." Lexi told Zack. 

"Oh Jesus." Zack groaned.

"Hey! Fuck you, man! Had it not been for me-" Brian cut Jimmy off. 

"She wouldn't of cracked the back of her head on the hood when you scared the fuck out of her." Brian smiled. 

"For fucksake." Zack groaned even more. 

"No worries. Matt took over." Brian smiled slyly at me. 

Zack glared at me. What the fuck did I do? 

"I helped out!" I said defensively. 

"Uh huh." Zack glared at me. 

"Anyways, that's Johnny over there." Zack pointed at Johnny. 

"Hey. And you are?" Johnny asked her. 

"Lexi." She said quietly. 

"Nice to meet you." He smiled at her. 

"You too." She nodded. 

"So you gonna be on the roadie bus?" Johnny asked her. 

"No. She is taking the spare bunk we have." Zack said. 

What exactly is going on here? Not that I mind having her on the bus. I just wasn't aware of this. I looked at Zack curiously, waiting for an answer. 

"I'm not shoving her on their bus. I've known Lexi for a long time. She just moved back recently." Zack explained. 

Interesting. He has never mentioned her before. I looked at the other guys and none of them are buying his half ass story. 

"So, we leave at six tomorrow morning. We will leave from here. That work with you?" I asked her. 

"Yeah. It's fine." She muttered. 

"Good." I smiled at her. 

"Here. Come sit down." Jimmy said patting the seat beside him. 

Lexi tensed some at his gesture. Oh hell. What type of girl did Zack bring with us? Is she going to freak out at any sort of crude comment? She won't last two days if that is the case. 

"Really, Jim?" Zack glared at Jimmy. 

"What?" Jimmy grinned innocently. 

"I'm not sitting on your lap." Lexi muttered, walking over to sit beside him. 

"Happy now?" Lexi grinned at him. 

"Yep!" Jimmy sighed happily, laying his head on her shoulder. 

"Anyways, Lexi and I will be here in the morning. She's staying in my guest room temporarily." Zack told us. 

"Interesting." I smirked at him. 

"My friends are dicks. You'll have to excuse them." Johnny smiled at Lexi. 

"You guys are fine." She said quietly, patting Jimmy on the side of his head. 

Jimmy sighed happily again and laid his head in her lap. Well, she's gotta get used to him somehow I guess. 

It was odd watching her though. She sat listening to us talk, gently running her fingers through Jimmy's hair as she listened. Jimmy was almost asleep too. Brian rolled his eyes at them. 

"Well. Someone is right at home." Brian muttered. 

"Suck my dick, Gates. You're just jealous." Jimmy grumbled. 

"How's Leana?" I glared at Jimmy. 

"Fine." He mumbled. 

"Dammit, Jimmy! Get up." Zack snarled, kicking him with his foot. 

Lexi jumped a little at Zack's outburst. Any irritation that Zack had quickly deflated when he saw her startled. Zack sighed quietly and ran a hand over his face. He looked at her and grinned a little. 

"Sorry." He told her. 

"It's fine. I'm gonna head out if you guys don't need me." Lexi said standing up. 

"I'll see you in a bit." Zack said as she walked out the door. 

Once the door was shut, all eyes were on Zack. I took notice of how tense he was since He arrived tonight. Again, that isn't like him. 

"Talk." I said, crossing my arms at him. 

"Lexi grew up across the street from my grandparents house. She moved away after we graduated. I haven't seen her in ten years." He sighed tiredly. 

"And?" Brian prompted. 

"And she got in touch with me. She needed help, and I'm doing just that. I offered her a place to live for a while and a job. I cleared everything with management already." Zack shrugged. 

"You're not saying everything." Jimmy pointed out. 

"Because that is between Lexi and I." Zack said coldly, surprising us all. 

"Damn. Didn't know we all had fucking secrets now." Johnny glared at him. 

"What is her deal? She can't be getting freaked out over every little thing. She won't last." I pointed out. 

"Would you give her a chance?" He snapped at me. 

"Damn, man. Calm down." Brian muttered. 

"Seriously you guys. We aren't a bunch of judgemental pricks. Let's not start acting like it now." He said sternly. 

Even though he isn't saying everything, I can tell that our attitude towards Lexi is pissing him off. I get it, and he is right. We don't know her and we have no room to judge her either. 

"You're right. I'm sorry." I said calmly. 

"Just give her a chance. Please? She needs this. That's all I'm asking. If you think her work is shit, we can let her go." Zack told me. 

"Say what?" Jimny laughed. 

"Dude, it will be fine. Just relax a little." Brian assured him. 

"Yeah." Zack mumbled. 

"What's really bothering you, Zack?" I asked finally. 

"Nothing anyone can fix right now. I'm worried about my friend. And yes, just a friend." He told us. 

"She's sad." Johnny muttered. 

We all turned and looked at him. Johnny just shrugged at us. 

"She is. You can see it." Johnny said. 

"She is." Zack said quietly.

"Just answer me this. We have to worry about a crazy ex?" I sighed. 

"No. We do not have to worry about that. She's healing. Trying to anyway." Zack told us. 

"Is she shy?" Brian asked. 

"Until she gets to know you. Then she talks alot more." Zack said. 

"Why is she so jumpy?" I asked. 

"Reasons. I'm leaving it alone for now." Zack sighed at me. 

"Ok then. We will give it a shot." I shrugged. 

What could go wrong? Well, everything could go wrong. But, I'm willing to give it a try. It seems like Lexi needs this. I just pray like hell that it works out for her.


	3. Chapter 3

"Fuck! I'm sorry!" Brian practically screamed, slamming the bathroom door. 

We are into week one of our tour, and we forgot to mention to Lexi that the bathroom door doesn't lock. We all know this, but forgot to mention it to the new person. 

Fuck. 

Brian quickly sat down with a red face, staring at the floor. Zack looks ready to beat his ass. I can't help but laugh. Brian doesn't embarrass easily, so this is saying something. 

"Have a nice view, dickhead?" Zack snarled. 

"Oh my god, man." Brian groaned into his hands. 

"How hot is she?" Johnny whispered, earning a smack on the back of his head by me. 

"Dude, she's smoking hot with clothes on." Jimmy muttered. 

Zack smacked him on the back of the head this time. The bathroom door opened and Lexi emerged. I couldn't take my eyes off of the white tank top that clung to her perfectly. Damn. So do her jeans. I bit back a groan as she strolled past us. Hell, whatever perfume she wears, it smells so fucking good. I want to bury my face into her neck. Dammit!

"Get an eyeful, Brian?" Lexi asked pouring some coffee. 

"I'm so sorry!" Brian groaned at her. 

"At least I had underwear and a bra on." She glared at him. 

The thought of her in nothing but underwear flashed through my perverted mind. Shaking my head a little to clear my thoughts, I cleared my throat and smiled at her. 

"Sorry. We forgot to mention the lock is broken." I told her. 

"How convenient." She glared at me. 

"You could always leave the door open if you're worried about anyone barging in. Takes the surprise out of it for everyone involved." Jimmy smiled at her. 

Lexi gave him a weird look. All of us are used to the shit that comes out of his mouth. Lexi isn't. She nodded at Jimmy a little. 

"I'll keep that in mind." She said. 

"I hope so." Jimmy smiled at her. 

"Fuck." Zack sighed. 

Lexi grabbed her phone and glanced at Zack. We are stopped at one of the venues, and none of us have to do anything for the next three hours. 

"Where ya heading off to?" Zack asked her.

"For a walk." She said. 

"No fighting." He called after her as she walked off the bus. 

"Fighting? And why is she going alone?" I glared at Zack. 

"Dude, she is the last person you have to worry about. She has a black belt or some shit in Krav Maga. She's fine." Zack said, shrugging slightly. 

"So Lexi isn't as sweet and innocent as we all believe." Brian said slyly. 

"That she isn't. Stop thinking with your dick, Brian." Zack told him. 

"It was that obvious?" Brian asked. 

"Dude! You might as well put it up on a billboard for fucksake!" Jimmy yelled. 

"I don't like her out there alone, man. We are in Atlanta. Fuck that." I said, getting up. 

"She's fine, Matt." Zack laughed. 

Nope. Not on my watch. I don't care what she can or can't do, I'll be goddamned if something happens to her. 

I headed off of the bus, walking towards the back of the building where I had watched her go. I peaked around the corner and saw her sitting beside the building alone. Her knees were pulled up to her chest. Her face turned in the opposite direction of me. 

I hesitated for a moment, then decided to make my presence known. Lexi glanced over her shoulder at me. I smiled and walked over to sit down beside her. 

"Wasn't a long walk, was it?" I asked. 

"This is usually what I do when we stop." She said quietly. 

"Are we that annoying?" I asked. 

She let out a laugh, which is the first time I've ever heard her laugh. I smiled more. 

"No. You guys are fine." She grinned a little. 

"I've been meaning to tell you that you're photography is amazing. Everyone is really pleased with all of your work." I told her. 

"Really?" She asked surprised. 

Out of all the photographers we've had over the years, Lexi is the best by far. She finds the perfect shot each and every time. She even takes care of our website by uploading the pictures and submitting photos to magazines. She's very talented. 

"Yes, really. What? Did you doubt yourself?" I grinned. 

"Actually I did. It's been a long time since I've done anything." She said. 

"Well, you didn't lose your touch." I smiled. 

Her phone rang. Lexi glanced down and sighed at it, dismissing the call. She did it so fast that I didn't catch the name that flashed on the screen. 

I watched her sigh heavily and shake her head in disgust. The mood suddenly changed with her. Something about whoever called made her sad and angry. She was no longer smiling. She was simply frowning. 

"Not a fan of that person, I take it?" I asked. 

"Definitely not." She muttered, not looking at me. 

Fuck! She actually made eye contact with me today. This past week, I've noticed She only really looks at Zack. She avoids eye contact with the rest of us. I find it weird, but I don't say anything.

"So, Zack says you moved back to California recently. Where were you living before?" I asked, trying to lighten the mood. 

Lexi tensed up at my question. Fucking great. That obviously didn't help. Nice going, Matt. 

"Um, Iowa." She said awkwardly.

"You left beautiful California for fucking Iowa?" I laughed. 

"No one ever said I made smart decisions." She said, getting up quickly. 

Well, that went well for me. I groaned to myself and looked up at her. Lexi flashed me a fake grin and walked away in a hurry. 

Sighing I let my head fall back against the brick wall. I didn't mean to upset her. She is so hot and cold some days, and I can't understand why either. 

Glancing down, I saw she left her phone. I grabbed it and got up. As I was walking back to the bus, the phone rang again. Sid. I wonder who the fuck this Sid is. Shrugging, I answered it. 

"Hello?" I asked. 

Silence for a moment. I heard the person clear their throat. 

"Uh, who is this?" The guy asked. 

"Matt. Who the fuck is this?" I grumbled, walking on the bus. 

"Sid. Where is Lexi?" He demanded. 

All eyes are on me as I entered the bus. Lexi's eyes are huge at me. She knows that it's not my phone. God knows I don't have a pink phone for shitsake. 

"Who is this?" I asked again, feeling irritated by the caller's tone. 

"I told you it's Sid. Put Lexi on the phone." Sid said, getting pissed. 

"Take it down a notch, asshole." I warned. 

Lexi walked over and grabbed the phone out of my hands. She glared at me when she saw the name on the screen. 

"It's Sid." I told her. 

Zack's eyes went even wider at me. I feel like I just committed a felony. Lexi's chest moved up and down rapidly at the mentioning of Sid's name. 

"Why would you fucking answer it!?" She hissed at me. 

Zack grabbed the phone and hung it up. Lexi is so fucking pissed off at me. Great. Just what I needed. 

"It rang?" I asked sheepishly. 

"Don't touch my stuff." She snapped at me. 

"Hold up, girl." I glared, watching her eyes narrow at me. 

"Calm the fuck down for starters. You left your phone behind the building. Jesus." I spat at her. 

"I don't care. Do not answer my phone." She growled, storming into the backroom. 

The door slammed and Zack cussed under his breath. He shook his head and sighed at me. 

"Don't say anything. I get it man. It's not your fault. I'll calm her down." Zack told me. 

"She doesn't need to be so bitchy." I muttered. 

"Neither do you, asshole." Jimmy glared at me. 

"It's my fucking fault?" I barked at Him.

"Dude, we don't answer each other's phones unless we know who it is. Stop prying into her business." Brian said. 

"Thanks alot, dickheads." I snarled at them.


	4. Chapter 4

Lexi hasn't said a word to me unless She's had to for the last three days. It's bugging the fuck out of me too. I had planned on trying to smooth things over with her tonight, but apparently her and Zack had drinking plans. Plans that didn't involve the rest of us. 

We were sitting on the bus while the two of them were gone. I felt myself dozing off until the bus doors flew open. I heard laughing of the two of them, followed by bodies falling. 

"Well, this is some shit." Brian laughed. 

I looked over to see that Zack had fallen on top of Lexi in the aisle. Lexi groaned, trying to move from under him. She's shorter than him by just a little, and definitely a tiny person. I'm sure she feels likes he is suffocating her. 

"Get the fuck off of me." Lexi groaned. 

"Kiss me first." Zack smiled at her. 

"That's like incest, you sick fuck!" She shrieked, launching Zack off of her. 

"Oh yeah. I still love you though!" Zack laughed to her. 

Lexi giggled at him. She shoved his face away from hers and Zack laughed harder. Zack threw an arm over her waist and sighed, closing his eyes. 

"No feeling me up, Baker." She muttered, closing her eyes. 

"Okie doke." Zack mumbled.

"This is great." I laughed, watching them. 

"Come on, Zee. Up we go." Jimmy said, hauling Zack up. 

Zack is almost passed out and staggering all over the fucking place. I saw Lexi with her eyes closed curled up on the floor. Brian looked at me and smirked, walking over to her. Fucker. 

He bent down to pick her up and she grabbed his hand, pressing hard on the palm of it. Brian yelped and fell back on his ass. 

"Ow! Ow! It hurts!" Brian groaned. 

"No shit it does. That's the point. What were you planning on doing exactly?" She asked, opening her eyes. 

"Fuck! I was gonna put you in bed! Alone, for that matter!" Brian shrieked again when she let go. 

"Lex! That's bad! No!" Zack called out to her. 

"Shit. My bad. Sorry." She giggled at Brian. 

"Because you are adorable, I'll forgive you." Brian smiled slyly at her. 

"Thanks." She smiled, closing her eyes again. 

"Lexi? How about you pass out in bed?" I grinned. 

"Tired." She muttered, not moving. 

"Lexi!!!! Come lay by me!" Zack whined in a drunken slur. 

"We have two kids right now. You see this?" Johnny laughed at me. 

"You have no room to talk." I smirked at him. 

"Hey. Sweetie? Don't hit me or hurt me, ok?" Brian said to her quietly. 

"Ok." Lexi sighed, not moving an inch. 

Brian cringed, and hesitantly scooped her up into his arms. He turned to me as he held her in his arms. 

"Move, man. I don't wanna get killed." He grinned. 

I laughed and moved out of his way. Once she was carefully laid in her bunk, Brian took her shoes off of her. He kept jumping back, afraid she'd deck his ass. I recorded all of it of course. It's not every day that Synyster Gates acts like a pussy. 

Brian covered her up quickly and jumped away. Zack's curtain flew open all of a sudden. He glared up at me and Brian. 

"Better not be fucking with her." He told us. 

"Go to bed, for the love of god." I told him, pulling the curtain back. 

"The kids are tucked in. Dad's going to bed." Jimmy smiled, heading to his bunk. 

As I slept that night, I was woken up to quiet sobbing. It's certainly not one of the guys I can tell you that. I sat up a little, just enough to see Lexi dart from her bunk over to Zack's bunk. 

"Zee?" She whispered, nudging him. 

"What's wrong, babe?" He mumbled. 

"Can I sleep next to you? I'm scared." She whispered. 

"Get in." He whispered, moving over. 

"I'm sorry." She sniffled. 

"Shh. No sorrys. Just sleep. I'm here." Zack said quietly. 

I couldn't fall back asleep after that. My only thought was that this Sid prick hurt her severely. That just pissed me off in itself. If I find out this asshole hit her, I'm going to fucking Iowa or wherever the fuck he is and beating his ass. 

All of us were up the next morning except for those two. We were drinking coffee and talking amongst ourselves. It was a relatively quiet morning. 

Then an outburst from the back of the bus erupted, and it was one that I can honestly say was hilarious. 

"What in the fuck, Zack!" Lexi yelled, followed by a loud thud. 

We looked down the hallway to see Zack laying on the floor of the bus, laughing his ass off. Lexi is red faced and pissed as she glares down at him. 

"I'm a guy! Guys get morning wood! I can't help it!" Zack laughed harder. 

Jesus christ, did we all die laughing at them. Holy shit, I'm positive she didn't expect to wake up to that this morning! I'm laughing so hard I have tears. The other guys are just as bad as me. 

"When the fuck did you take your pants off?!" She yelled. 

"When you curled up next to me like a cat, for christ sake! It was like a heating pad!" Zack laughed harder. 

"At least you have boxers on, fuckhead." She snapped. 

"Help me up?" Zack smiled, holding his hand up to her. 

Lexi scoffed and got out of his bunk. She slapped at his hand, yanking some clothes out of her bunk. She glared down at him again. 

"The last thing you need help with is getting anything up." She glared, causing more laughter from us. 

"Impressed?" Zack smiled at her. 

"No." She said, walking into the bathroom.

"Fuck! That was awesome!" Jimmy yelled, still laughing. 

Zack laughed and sat up on the floor. He leaned back and knocked on the door of the bathroom. 

"Lex? Can I come in? I gotta piss." Zack laughed. 

The door opened and a bottle of shampoo was thrown at his head. Zack yelped at the impact of the bottle. The door quickly slammed shut again. 

"That a no?" He yelled out. 

"You're such an asshole!" She yelled out. 

"She loves me." He snickered. 

"Oh yeah. She's dying to sleep next to you again." I smiled. 

"Nice job, Zack." Brian laughed. 

Needless to say, we couldn't help but snicker like twelve year olds after she came out of the bathroom ready for the day. We were met with death glares. 

"I'm sorry! I can't help it!" Brian busted up laughing. 

"How's your hand?" Lexi glared at Brian. 

Brian stopped laughing and cleared his throat at her. He smiled politely at her and nodded. 

"Good. Thanks for not breaking it." He told her. 

"Keep it up and I'll reconsider." She smiled sweetly at him. 

"Like Zack kept it up?" Jimmy smiled, causing us to laugh our asses off again. 

"Def Leppard had a one armed drummer. Wanna give it a try?" She asked him. 

"No!" Jimmy yelled, shutting up. 

I grinned as I checked my notifications on my phone. I'm really excited about the band that is filling in on such short notice for us. 

"They said yes!" I yelled out to the guys. 

"Who?" Johnny asked confused. 

"Slipknot. They agreed to do the tour with us." I told him. 

Zack almost spit out his coffee. As he coughed and tried to catch his breath, I noticed how pale Lexi had become. She is staring at me like I have four arms. She swayed a little like she may pass out. I quickly reached for her, and made her sit down. 

"You alright?" I asked. 

"Huh?" She blinked at me. 

"Are you ok? Do you want to lay down or something?" I asked kneeling in front of her. 

"Oh. Uh, no. I just got dizzy. Too much drinking last night." She almost whispered. 

"Here, sweetie. You're dehydrated." Jimmy said, handing her some water. 

She took the bottle and looked at Zack. Zack looks almost as pale as her. What in the fuck did we miss between them? Lexi shook her head and sighed. 

"Thanks. I've got some work to do." She said, standing up. 

We all watched her walk to the back room. The door quietly shut behind her. All eyes went back to Zack. 

"Hangover. They sneak up on her sometimes." He grinned a little. 

"You lie so badly." Jimmy said. 

"No. That's what's wrong with her." Zack shrugged. 

"I don't buy it, but ok. I know when to leave shit alone." Brian said, sitting back down. 

"I don't." I glared at Zack. 

"Everything is fine, man. Just relax." He told me. 

Relax? Yeah. Right. Someone better start talking and soon.


	5. Chapter 5

By the time we got to the venue the next day, we were all ready to go. We had everyone set up for sound check. Lexi seemed to be better by then. She was down on the floor taking pictures of us as we warmed up. 

Everything was going fine. The show was fucking awesome, and we were happy with the results of the crowd. All of us had just finished getting showered and changed, when we heard Lexi yelling. I made the guys pause as we listened from around the corner. 

"Fuck you, Sid! I don't give a fuck about your sorry anymore! I'm not coming back!" Lexi yelled. 

"Babe, I know I wasn't there for you. I'm sorry." Sid Wilson said.

"I've moved on. Go fuck yourself." Lexi hissed at him. 

Everything just snapped into place for me. Iowa. Sid. Oh. My. God. I looked at the guys who are just as shocked as I am. Except for Zack. Zack looked like he was getting really pissed. 

"Besides, I'm seeing someone." Lexi spat at Sid. 

I looked at the guys who all shook their heads at me. Zack included.

"Yeah? Who? I'd love to meet him." Sid said. 

"Fuck off, and no!" Lexi yelled. 

"Hey Lexi!" Corey yelled to her. 

"Fuck off, Corey!" Lexi yelled out. 

"Alrighty then." Corey laughed walking away.

"Now is your chance." Brian said, nudging me. 

"Man the fuck up and help her out." Johnny growled at me. 

Shit. Even Zack nodded at me. There's a surprise. 

Clearing my throat, I stepped from around the corner. Lexi gave me a poker face look. I smiled wide at her. Please God, let this work. Just this one time is all I ask. 

"Hey babe! There you are!" I smiled, wrapping my arms around her. 

Sid looks not only stunned, but heartbroken. Lexi didn't miss a beat, which shocked the hell out of me. She smiled at me lovingly, then laid her head against my chest. The moment she did that, I felt a spark inside of me. Lexi looked up at me and smiled. It was like we had really done this before. 

"Hey man! How are you?" I smiled at Sid. 

"Uh...ok. How are you Shads?" Sid asked quietly. 

"Really good. Thanks for filling in so fast. We really appreciate it." I grinned at him. 

"Yeah. No problem." Sid said with a forced smile. 

"You ready, baby? I'm exhausted." I grinned at Lexi. 

"Yeah me too." She smiled. 

"Wait a second." Sid said before we could walk away. 

"How did you two meet?" Sid asked. 

Lexi and I froze for a split second.

"Really? Zack introduced us. Remember? They're friends? In a band together, you dumbass?" She glared at Sid.

"Shit. What was that? Like three, four months ago? Not sure. But it feels like we've been together forever. Huh?" I smiled at her. 

"Yeah." She smiled. 

If Sid's head could pop off of his shoulders right now, it would. He looks so pissed, but he is trying to remain calm. Lexi smiled at me and I took her hand. 

"We should head out. See ya man." I waved at Sid. 

"Stay away from me, Wilson." Lexi growled as we walked away. 

I kept a hold of her hand as we walked outside. Lexi went to drop my hand and I held tighter. 

"Wait until we are on the bus." I mumbled to her.

Once we all were on the bus and the doors were shut, Lexi dropped my hand. She swatted at my bare arms. 

"Ow!" I groaned, shrinking back from her. 

"What the fuck, Matt!" She yelled. 

"More like what the fuck, Lexi!" I shrieked. 

"I was handling that just fine. Now he thinks we are seriously dating!" She exclaimed. 

"You dated him and never bothered to mention it?!" I yelled. 

"Fuck, this is so awesome." Jimmy laughed. 

"What the fuck am I going to do? Now, he won't leave it alone because he thinks that we are really dating!" She yelled. 

"Guys!" Zacky yelled. 

We looked at him. 

"Settle down. This can easily be figured out." He said. 

"Sit down girl." Brian grinned, pulling her to sit by him. 

"He's right. You two need to make it believable. Spend time together. Act like you like each other. It's not that hard. Roll with it, is what we are saying." Brian told us. 

"Try relaxing. We aren't out to get ya." Brian told Lexi with a smile.

"And I bet if it is believable, Sid will keep his distance." Johnny threw in. 

I love my friends. I seriously do. They can make almost anyone believe anything. And, they aren't pushy about it. 

Zack looked at Lexi, nodding at her. She sighed a little and nodded.

"Oh my God." She sighed.

"Lexi, it's not going to be that bad. Look at Matt. He is alot better looking than Sid." Jimmy smiled at her. 

"Holy shit, man." Lexi sighed again. 

"Lex, it's going to be fine. I'm serious." I told her. 

"Fine. Whatever it takes to keep him away from me." She said. 

All of us smiled like kids at her. Maybe things will work out. Who knows? I'm more surprised that Zack is ok with this than anything else. I figured he would kill me for what I did. 

The guys went out later, leaving me and Lexi on the bus for the first time ever. She stared at me, looking unconvinced and rather nervous. 

"I cannot believe that is Sid you were dating." I said. 

"Makes two of us." She sighed. 

"How long were you together?" I asked her. 

"Almost nine years." She said painfully. 

Well, damn. I didn't expect that long of a relationship between them. Lexi fidgeted nervously. 

"Did he hurt you? Like physically?" I asked her quietly. 

Her eyes went wide at me and She shook her head. I wasn't sure if I believed that just yet. Something happened to make her this way. 

"No. Not physically. He did a lot of other shit that hurt me mentally. Sid had some problems." She said, looking away. 

"He never deserved you. I hope you know this." I told her. 

"What?" She asked me surprised. 

"You heard me." I told her. 

"Look, now is the time to start trusting me. We kinda got forced into this, and I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable. But, you're gonna have to open up to me just a little so I know what is going on." I told her. 

"Um, it's not a pretty story, Matt. It's really hard to talk about." She said, fidgeting with her hands. 

Feeling rather daring tonight, I gently laid my hand over hers. Lexi tensed up for a moment then relaxed. 

"Start here. Why do you tense up the moment someone touches you besides Zack?" I asked her. 

"Start at a different spot. Please." She begged me. 

"Ok. Why did you and Sid break up?" I asked, my eyes not leaving hers. 

"Sid liked to party. He doesn't know how to not party. That was all he did. It got old after a while. I knew He had someone else too. Someone that wasn't me." She said tearfully. 

"I wasn't good enough for him." She shrugged. 

Wasn't good enough for him? That is bullshit. She was too good for him. I can only imagine the heartbreak She felt when she found out. 

"That's bullshit. You were more than good enough for him." I told her. 

Lexi looked away from me. She is becoming increasingly uncomfortable by the second. 

"I'm gonna go to bed. It's been a long day." She said suddenly, getting up. 

"Stop." I said, holding onto her hands to keep her in place. 

"Lexi, not a single one of us would ever hurt you. It's time to let your guard down. You need to let us in. We won't tell other people. We won't make you feel bad. Please? Give me something here." I pleaded with her. 

More tears fell from her eyes. I didn't expect what I heard her say next. And let's just say, I was raging pissed off. 

"Things had been really bad between us for a long time. Years, actually. Sid stayed out all night, every night. I decided to go out one night with a few friends. We hit up this bar. It was a shit hole. We had been drinking and dancing. Everything was fine. Sid was supposed to pick me. He always did. Always." She said, wiping her eyes. 

"I waited for him after my friends left. I went to the bathroom and came back. I never leave my drink on a table unattended. I did that night." She let out a sob. 

"What happened?" I whispered. 

"I woke up in an alleyway. I was beat to shit. There was this guy that kept trying to talk to me inside the bar. It's all really blurry. I don't know how I got back there." She cried harder. 

I almost snapped. Almost. I swallowed hard and gently held on to her hands tighter. 

"Where was Sid?" I asked. 

"He never came for me that night. He was at his other girls house. Someone called an ambulance for me when they found me. He never came to the hospital. Paul did instead. Paul cared more than my own boyfriend did." She sobbed harder. 

"Fuck!" I hissed, pulling her into my lap. 

"I'm sorry." I whispered, hugging her. 

Surprisingly, Lexi just held onto me tightly. I'm trying to keep myself calm. I want to kill Sid, and this piece of shit from that night. 

"I'm so fucking sorry." I whispered, over and over to her. 

A half hour later she had calm down. We hadn't moved from the spot we had been in. I felt her relaxing into me. Instinctively, my lips pressed against her forehead gently. My mind raced of what really happened that night. She isn't telling me everything, but I think this is enough for now. 

"Lex?" I whispered. 

She didn't respond. I felt the smile tug at my lips. Her arms are still wrapped around my neck. 

"Baby?" I asked a little louder this time. 

She jumped, pulling her head up from my shoulder. Those pale grey eyes looked at me confused. I smiled at her, brushing the hair out of her eyes. 

"Let's get you to bed." I told her. 

"I'm so sorry." She whispered in a panic at me.

"I'm not. Come on. Come lay by me." I said, helping her up. 

"What?" She hissed. 

"Would you relax?" I grinned. 

"Come on. I meant what I said earlier. Nothing is going to happen to you with us around. And I know you can kick my ass, so no worries." I smiled. 

Lexi giggled at me. I smiled more, and pulled on her hand. She followed me down the aisle to the bunks. We both took turns changing in the bathroom. I got up into my bunk, then held my arms down to help her in. She was like lifting air She is so light. 

Once we were settle in my bunk, I laid on my side with my arm over her waist. It took her a few minutes before she fully relaxed against me. 

"I'm sorry for all of this Matt." She whispered. 

"Do not apologize. Please. You did nothing wrong." I said quietly. 

She looked over her shoulder at me. I nodded at her. I leaned up and kissed her forehead. 

"No bad dreams tonight. It's just us here." I whispered as we settled in.


	6. Chapter 6

"Morning, dickhead." Zack glared at me the next morning. 

"Hi Matt." Jimmy smiled slyly at me. 

"Have a good night, stud?" Brian snickered. 

"We didn't hear her upset waking up to you this morning like she did with Zack. You two work that out as well?" Johnny smiled at me. 

"Wait..what?" I asked them confused. 

I'm glad Lexi is in the shower and not hearing this shit right now. 

"Help her out is what I meant. Not sleep with her!" Zack growled at me angrily. 

"Time the fuck out! We slept next to each other. Jesus! Get your minds out of the gutter guys." I snapped. 

"Oh. My bad." Zack shrugged casually. 

"I'm disappointed in you." Brian laughed at me. 

"You fuckwits could at least ask one of us before making assumptions." I heard Lexi say behind me. 

The guys shifted awkwardly in their seats. Lexi muttered under her breath about them being assholes as she walked past. I smiled happily, knowing I wasn't an asshole. At least not at the moment anyway.

"You should know better, Zackary." Lexi growled at him. 

"Yeah, Zackary." Jimmy smiled. 

"Suck my dick, James." Zack glared at Jimmy. 

"I'm sorry." Zack smiled at her. 

"Uh huh." She grinned at him.

Zack laughed and pulled her into his lap. He hugged her hard and looked at her seriously. 

"That little asshole had better keep his distance." He told Lexi. 

"You know how he is, Zack. Sid doesn't understand the word no." She said. 

"He will. If Matt has anything to say about it. Right, Matt?" Brian smiled slyly at me. 

"Yep." I smiled, grabbing some coffee. 

I have more than a lot to say about it. Little prick. I just want to beat the ever living shit out of Sid. How the fuck could He do that to someone like her? She's a very nice person. She definitely has some sass to her and isn't one to back down in an argument. She's sweet and kind of shy. Not to mention, she is unbelievably fucking hot too.

Later that afternoon I was watching Lexi take some photos of the crew setting up the stage. She likes taking pictures of everything. Some days she will want to take pictures of them tearing down too. It's crazy to me, but I enjoy watching her work from start to finish. 

"She's one hell of a girl." I heard Sid say next to me. 

I glanced at him and nodded. He simply raised an eyebrow at me before turning to watch Lexi again. 

"Matt, she's going to come back to me. I hope you know this. It's only a matter of time." He said. 

I laughed and smiled at him. 

"Keep telling yourself that. I believe she has a bit of a problem with the girl you had on the side." I sneered. 

"We all make mistakes. She's not perfect either you know. She did her fair share of shitty things. I bet she didn't tell you that though, did she?" He smiled at me. 

"She doesn't need to. How long did it take her to get to that point? How much did you play a part in that?" I asked him. 

I'm gonna slit his fucking throat if he doesn't get the fuck out of my business. I don't give a fuck who he is. I'm about at my limit with his ass. 

Before Sid could respond, I heard someone yell to look out. It all happened so fast, yet it was also in slow motion for me. 

A huge cart that was loaded with heavy amps came flying down the stage and right at Lexi. Lexi didn't even have a chance to move hardly. She turned her body to the side just as the cart smacked into her, knocking her to the floor. You could hear a pin drop a mile away it was so quiet in the arena. 

I scrambled to climb up the stage. Somehow, Sid's short little ass got to her first. Lexi groaned, laying on her side. 

"Lexi!" Sid half yelled, kneeling beside her. 

"Baby? Baby, talk to me." I said in a panic, kneeling next to her other side. 

Lexi's eyes fluttered opened a little at us. She moved her head a little, revealing a purple bruise forming up by her hairline. 

"Lexi! Hey, stay awake." Sid told her. 

"Baby? Say something. Anything." I said, feeling my heart pounding. 

"Hurts." She moaned. 

Both Sid and I let out a sigh of relief. We looked at each other and grinned a little. 

"Can you stand up?" I asked.

"Why the fuck is he here?" Lexi groaned at Sid. 

Both Sid and I let out a laugh. 

"She's ok." Sid laughed to me. 

"For once, I'll agree with you." I grinned at him.

"Let's get you off the floor. Up we go, kitten." I said, scooping her into my arms. 

"For the love of fuck, I can walk." She grumbled at me. 

"I'm sure you can. But I'm carrying you." I smiled, standing up with her. 

"Shit. Is my camera broke?" She groaned as we walked. 

"Um, yeah." Sid said, examining it. 

"It's fine. I'll buy you a new one." I told her. 

"Fuck." She sighed as I sat her down on the couch in my dressing room. 

Lexi stared up at Sid and I confused as she sat on the couch. I watched as her eyes looked like they were spinning in circles almost. I knelt down in front of her. My one hand cupped the side of her face gently. 

"Kitten, talk to me. Are you ok?" I asked. 

Her eyes fluttered before rolling back into her head. Her body started to slump to one side of the couch. I quickly grabbed her and looked up at Sid. Sid looks ready to freak out, yet he is frozen in place. 

"Sid, I want you to get the medics. Now." I said slowly and calmly. 

He blinked at me, then raced out of the room. I carefully laid her back on the couch. Fuck, that is a nasty bruise starting on her forehead. I glanced at her arm. Holy shit, I'm glad her arm took most of the impact rather than her head. Her arm has this deep purple and red bruise that is about the size of a softball from where the cart hit her. 

"What the hell happened?!" Brian yelled, running into the room. 

"Not now!" I snarled, trying to get Lexi to wake up. 

"Excuse me! Coming in!" A medic yelled, making his way into the room. 

I hadn't realized how many people had filtered into the room with us. I was too focused on Lexi who isn't waking up. 

I moved out of the way so the medic could work. I saw Zack run in breathlessly and push Brian to the side. 

"What in the fuck? Who let the cart go?" Zack demanded at me. 

"It was an accident. Settle down." Brian said calmly. 

The medic wasn't having any luck getting her to wake up. He snapped some smelling salts under her nose. That did it. Lexi jerked her head away and slapped at the guys hand. I grinned as her eyes opened. She became more than aware of the strange man sitting beside her on the couch. Let me tell you, she is pissed too. 

"Oh shit." Zack muttered, taking a step forward. 

"Ma'am, I'm-" Lexi cut the medic off. 

"You're gonna get your ass kicked if you don't step the fuck back." Lexi snarled. 

"She's good!" Corey Taylor laughed behind us. 

"Babe, it's ok. Settle down." I said, making the medic move. 

I slowly sat down next to her on the couch. Lexi has her eyes fixed on the medic. The medic is less than worried about her threat. I'm sure he hears all kinds of shit on a daily basis. 

Finally I was able to get her eyes to focus on me and not the medic. She looked at me confused. I grinned a little and gently brushed the hair from her eyes, careful to not touch her bruise. 

"You got knocked out. There was a cart that rammed into you and you hit your head pretty fucking hard on the floor. You're ok, but I really think we should get you checked out at the hospital." I told her. 

"No." She groaned. 

"Can I try?" I heard Paul behind me. 

I grinned at him. Lexi smiled at Paul. Everyone likes Paul. He is such a nice guy and easy to get along with. Paul smiled at her. 

"I thought when we saw each other again it wouldn't be like this. What are ya trying to do to me, girl?" Paul smiled at her. 

"Hey Pauly." She smiled a little. 

"Think we can get ya checked out so Matt doesn't have a heart attack?" Paul smiled more at her. 

"Ok." She sighed. 

"I'll check on you later. I promise." Paul said kissing her cheek gently. 

"Let's get you into the ambulance." I said to her. 

Lexi froze. Her eyes are the size of saucers as she looks at me. No ambulance. Ok. New approach. 

"Get the Berry's." I told Jimmy. 

Jimmy darted out of the room. I grinned at her again, trying to keep her calm. 

"They will take you in the rental car. Does that work?" I asked her. 

"Thank you." She whispered. 

"Lexi." Sid said, stepping closer to her. 

Before I could tell his ass to back off, Zack was up in Sid's face. Shit! That's something you don't see every day from Zack. Zack is normally very calm and collective. Not today. 

"I fucking told you, asshole. Stay away from her." Zack said lowly to Sid.

"Look, motherfucker." Sid started. 

"Now is not the time, gentlemen." Jim Root said, stepping between them. 

"I'll carry you to the car. I'm so sorry I can't go with you." I said to her. 

I feel like a piece of shit about not being able to go. I fucking hate this shit! 

"It's fine." Lexi muttered. 

"As soon as I'm off stage, I'll be there. I swear to you, I will be." I told her. 

"Ok." She whispered. 

I gently pulled her into my arms. Turning around, I noticed how many people were actually in the room with us. It was all the guys from Slipknot, all of my guys, and some of the stagehands. 

I carefully carried her out to the rental car. Everything inside of me feels like it's dying because I have to leave her alone. Reluctantly, I placed her into the backseat of the car. I looked at the twins sternly. 

"You stay with her. Something happens, have them pull me off stage. I'm not fucking kidding." I warned them. 

"Goddamn, man. It will be fine. Just take care of what you need to. Let us take care of her." Jason told me. 

"We got it. I promise you, if there is an issue, I'll personally come here and pull you off stage." Mattie said. 

"Thanks." I sighed. 

What a shit day! Fuck!


	7. Chapter 7

"Where is she?" I demanded the second I arrived at the hospital. 

"Back with my brother. They are almost done. She's going to be fine." Mattie told me. 

"How is she feeling?" I asked, walking faster. 

"Dude, stop a second." Mattie told me.

Feeling annoyed, I stopped and gave him a look that said he better hurry the fuck up. I'm antsy as it is. 

"She has a concussion and some bad bruises. She's going to be dizzy and sore for a few days. They gave her some pain killers because her head was throbbing. Jason and I have kept her rather entertained with videos of you five acting like dipshits. Once the pain killers kicked in, she hasn't stopped laughing." Mattie smiled at me. 

"Thanks alot, dickhead." I glared. 

"Anytime. Oh, and we managed to keep Sid out. He tried stopping by. Lexi asked that he be removed, so I got security." Mattie smiled. 

I let out a laugh and slapped him on the back. Mattie led me down the hallway to where Lexi was. Jason had some video pulled up on his phone. Lexi giggled at him. 

"Hey." I smiled at her. 

Lexi is really surprised to see me. I told her I'd be here. Why wouldn't I come see her? Lexi just stared at me, then slowly smiled. 

"Hi." She said quietly. 

"Hey man." Jason grinned at me. "Doc is getting her released as we speak."

"Good. You wanna get out of here?" I asked her. 

"Yeah. I'm really fucking high though." She sighed, making me laugh. 

"As long as you aren't in pain." I grinned. 

"No pain." She said. 

"Good." I smiled. 

A little while later she was released. Dizzy doesn't even cut it. That girl can barely stand up. I picked her up so she wouldn't fall when we got to the bus. 

"Zacky!" Lexi smiled happily at him. 

"Hey girl!" He laughed.

I grinned and sat her down carefully in his lap. Lexi sighed happily and laid her head on his shoulder. 

"You ok?" He asked her. 

"Yep. Drugs are awesome!" She smiled at him. 

We chuckled quietly. She is rather happy right about now. 

"Some of them are. I agree. Let's get you to bed." He told her. 

"Boring!" She exclaimed. 

Lexi leaned up and looked at Brian curiously. Brian smiled, his eyes looking around the room at us. 

"What?" Brian asked her. 

"You have really nice cheekbones. I'm jealous." She said, all of us laughing. 

"Noted. Time for bed, cupcake." Brian laughed. 

"You're not my dad." She glared at him. 

"Damn! We just had a nice moment! Come on." Brian groaned. 

Lexi reached over and poked his nose with her finger. Brian busted up laughing at her, while she just smiled. 

"And we just had another moment." She smiled. 

"We did. See? I'm not always an asshole, doll." He grinned. 

She giggled at him. 

"Keep telling yourself that." She smiled, Brian laughing harder. 

"Glad you're ok." He smiled at her. 

"Bedtime, missy." Jimmy grinned at her. 

"I'm really hungry." She muttered, ignoring him. 

Zack shook his head at us. She had no fucking idea what the hell she wants or needs at the moment. I'm amused, what can I say? 

"Lex, let's get ya to bed ok? You need some sleep." Zack told her. 

"Fine, buzz kill." She glared. 

"Shit head." He grinned, standing up with Lexi in his arms. 

"I'm not sleeping next to you." She grumbled at Zack. 

"Why not? We can talk about the first thing that pops up?" Zack laughed. 

"Asshole!" She yelled, swatting at his head. 

"I'm playing. You know that." He told her. 

"Those two crack me up." Johnny chuckled. 

"You two need to act more lovey dovey and shit, or Sid is gonna catch on." Jimmy reminded me. 

"It's been one day." I told him. 

"Time is ticking, Sanders." Brian smirked at me. 

Rolling my eyes, I went to get in my bunk. As I laid there, I thought about how to make Lexi more comfortable around me without being pushy. If Sid would just back off, it would make it a lot easier for everyone. But he won't. The persistent little shit just won't. Grumbling to myself, I finally fell asleep. 

Lexi was so Goddamn sore the next morning. She groaned in agony from her bunk. 

"Fuck my life." She muttered. 

"Hey. You need some help?" Zack asked her. 

"I need a shower." She sighed. 

"I'll help!" Brian yelled out. 

"I called dibs last night, motherfucker!" Johnny yelled. 

"Fuck you!" Jimmy yelled at them. 

"Good fucking God." I sighed, getting up from my bunk. 

Zack had slowly helped her to her feet. Lexi stumbled into him. Zack kept her steady with his hands on her arms gently. 

"So this whole shower thing. Sorry, but you can't do this alone." Zack said nervously to her. 

"No." She glared at him. 

"Like I want to?" Zack glared back at her. 

"Shit, I'll gladly help." Brian called out. 

"Shut up, asshole!" I yelled at him, hearing him laugh.

"As strange as this whole situation is, I agree with Zack. You can't be in there alone." I said. 

Her face went red as she stared at us. Zack and I are almost physically cringing as we look at how embarrassed she is. 

"What the fuck!" She groaned at us. 

"Lexi, come on. You can barely stand up on you're own. You can't even lift your one arm. If you fall over in there and hurt yourself even worse, we would all feel terrible. Worse than we do now." Zack sighed at her. 

"Well, what do you suggest? Taking a shower with me?" She hissed at Zack. 

"I will!" I heard from the three in back. 

I rolled my eyes and wanted to punch the three of them. 

"Um, no? Yes? I don't know! Someone help me!" Zack practically yelled in a panic. 

"Good fucking lord, you guys. I have to think of everything! Zack, help her with her clothes. Wrap a towel around her until She is in the shower. Keep one arm on her as you stand outside of the shower with the curtain closed. Damn! It was really this hard for you to figure out?" Johnny asked Zack. 

We all stared at him. Surprisingly, his idea was a good one. I nodded in agreement with him. For once, the gnome had a good idea.

"Just one issue. I have to leave in ten minutes for back to back interviews. I'll be gone most of the day." Zack said awkwardly. 

"I swear you three need to keep your mouths shut!" I called out to the guys in the back. 

"Dick." Brian whispered loudly. 

"I can help. I'll keep my eyes closed or whatever." I told her. 

Lexi gave me the look that said I have four arms again. Secretly, I'm smiling on the inside. I can't help it. I'm not trying to get her into bed, I just want to prove to her that she can trust me. 

"There! Thanks Matt!" Zack smiled in relief. 

"What?" She shrieked at Zack.

"Matt's a nice guy. Calm down. Sweetie, we both know you'll rip his throat out if he is out of line." Zack smiled at her. 

He quickly gave me a serious glare. 

"And I'll castrate him if is out of line." He said seriously to me. 

"Dude, come on." I groaned. 

"Fuck it. I need pain pills first." She muttered at us. 

"I'll get them and grab you something to eat. Don't take that shit on an empty stomach." Johnny said, walking to the kitchen. 

Lexi gave Zack a pleading look that said for him to not leave. Shit. I felt like I was getting somewhere with her yesterday. I see that is not the case at all. I feel disappointed now. 

"Have I ever lied to you?" Zack asked her quietly. 

"No." She whispered. 

"Ok then. I'm certainly not lying now. Neither is Matthew." Zack practically snarled at me.

"Damn, man! I'm not lying!" I said defensively. 

Zack smiled back at her. He kissed her forehead. 

"I have my phone on me. You won't need to call me though because you will be fine." He told her. 

"I know. I'm sorry you guys." She said embarrassed. 

"Trust me, we've all had our fair share of strange or weird shit happening. I get it. Don't worry about it." I told her. 

"Here ya go." Johnny said, producing a cup of yogurt, pain pills, and a bottle of water. 

"You actually paid attention to what type of yogurt I like?" She asked surprised. 

"Yeah. Brian is the only one that eats some weird vegan shit, so I had a feeling the strawberry was yours." Johnny grinned. 

"It tastes amazing!" Brian yelled out. 

All of them are driving me insane this morning except for Lexi. I'm not having them make her more uncomfortable by sitting out here while I help her get a shower. That will only make it worse for her. 

"Everyone off the fucking bus! We don't need an audience!" I yelled, hearing them all bitch and moan. 

Lexi looked relieved. She smiled at me and nodded some. 

"Finish that. I'm gonna shower and change. Then we can deal with this situation." I grinned, walking away. 

"Can I help tomorrow?" I heard Jimmy ask her. 

"I can punch you in the dick if you'd like. Does that work?" Lexi asked him, all of us laughing. 

"That is a big no. Got it." Jimmy laughed.


	8. Chapter 8

For fucksake, I think I'm more nervous about helping Lexi shower than she is. What is wrong with me? Why do I care this much about someone I hardly know? That is very unlike me. 

Shoving my thoughts away, I smiled at a very nervous Lexi. She stood before me in the bathroom, her face fifty shades of red. 

"We are adults, correct?" I asked her. 

"Yeah." She said. "Look, I'm sorry you're caught up in all my bullshit, Matt. This isn't fair of me." 

"I don't mind, and I kind of put all of this on your plate and mine. Stop worrying so much. Just relax. I promised you I wouldn't do anything and I won't." I said. 

"I just feel bad." She mumbled. 

"Don't. Now, shall we get this weird shower out of the way so we can move on with the day?" I grinned. 

She giggled and nodded at me. I turned the shower on, then grabbed a towel. Keeping my eyes on hers, I grabbed the bottom of her shirt. I shut my eyes tightly, slowly lifting it over her head. Lexi yelped, then groaned in pain. 

"Are you ok?" I asked, keeping my eyes closed.

"Uh huh." She panted, cursing under her breath. 

She took a deep breath, then let it out. I heard her unzip her shorts and bit down on my tounge until I tasted blood. I had to, or I'd of groaned out loud at the sound. Get your shit together, Matt. 

I heard her shorts hit the floor, then heard more rustling of clothes being removed. Do not open your fucking eyes. Don't do it. 

Taking a deep breath, I felt the towel being removed from my hands. Thank god. 

"Um, can...can you undo my bra?" She asked hesitantly. 

I swallowed thickly. Good fucking god! Yes. Yes, I can grant her request in a non sexual manner. I'm helping her. Dammit. 

"Oh. Uh, yeah. Can I open my eyes?" I asked. 

"Yeah. I have a towel on now." She said. 

My eyes opened and bit down on my bottom lip. Why didn't I pick a beach towel? Why did I pick a towel that is so Goddamn short? The towel covers just below her ass. Her back is to me. Focus on the task at hand. 

One deep breath later, I hesitantly reached over and undid her lacy red bra. Lexi pulled the towel up a little more. Sweet mother of god, I almost saw her ass. Calm yourself. 

She slowly turned around, bumping into the wall. I quickly grabbed her hips afraid she might fall. And yes, that was my main concern. 

Lexi looked at me trying to get her eyes to focus. She blinked a few times and sighed. I grinned a little at her. 

"Are you ok?" I asked quietly. 

"Yeah. I didn't think I moved that fast." She said. 

"Ready to get in?" I asked her. 

She nodded at me. I held onto her hand to guide her into the shower. I closed the curtain, keeping my one hand on her arm gently. I felt a towel being shoved at me, so I grabbed it. 

Standing outside of that curtain was excruciating for me. All I could think about was yanking my clothes off and getting in there with her. My eyes shut at the mere thought of pressing her against the shower wall. Having my lips pressed against hers. Fuck, I need to stop this. 

I heard a bottle drop onto the shower floor. I felt Lexi tense under my hand. 

"You have to be fucking kidding me." She grumbled.

"Drop the soap?" I chuckled. 

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" She groaned. 

"Relax. I'm not being a pervert." I said. 

Covering one side of my face with my hand, I leaned into the shower and retrieved the bottle of shampoo. Bright pink toenails caught my eyes. I didn't even care about the water that was hitting my head. I slowly backed up and turned my head away from her, holding the bottle out. Lexi took it from me and I held onto her arm again. 

This shower feels like it is taking years for me. Finally the water shut off. I let out a deep breath and grabbed the towel. I handed it to her and kept a hold of her as best as I could. 

The curtain opened and I felt my jaw drop open some. Beads of water slid down her cleavage. Lexi held the towel in place at the front, giving me a better view of her cleavage too. Damn. 

I helped her out of the shower. It feels like a million degrees in this bathroom now, and it's not really that hot even. Lexi looked at me nervously. 

About then is when I realized that while Johnny's idea to help her get a shower was great, he didn't have a plan for helping her get dressed. She is sensing this too. 

"Oh god." I sighed. 

"We didn't think about the rest, did we?" She grinned weakly at me. 

I shook my head slowly at her. Think, Matt. Think quickly too. Well, I guess we will see how this works. 

"Just let me help, ok? This stays between us." I told her. 

"Really?" She asked, clearly not believing me. 

"Yes. I don't brag about shit to the other guys. Some things are private." I told her. 

"If I hear otherwise-" I smiled and shook my head at her. 

"You won't." I told her. 

She nodded and grabbed her lacy black underwear! Fuck! Oh, and don't forget about the matching bra too! Dammit! I want to pull my hair out because I'm feeling so sexually frustrated.

I didn't bat an eye at any of it though. I knelt down in front of her, slowly sliding her hot as hell underwear up her legs. I made myself pull my hands away quickly. Good job Matt. 

With her back to me, the towel dropped. I bit down on the back of my knuckles and held in a moan. An amazing ass. That is all I can say. Hell, I want to run my hands over it so badly. 

"Um, can you fasten this?" She asked, getting my attention. 

"Shit! Sorry. Nice tattoo." I muttered.

Nice save, Sanders. Very nice save. 

It is a nice tattoo though. It's a tie dyed coi fish. It's really great work and the colors are awesome. She has the tattoo on her lower left hip.

"Oh, thanks." She grinned over her shoulder at me. 

I fastened her bra and she turned around to face me. My face is just as red as hers. Why is my face red? Because I am blatantly staring at her body and she knows it. 

"Look, I'm gonna say this because it's killing me not to. You are drop dead gorgeous. I can't even apologize because I'm not sorry for saying it." I told her. 

"Oh. Um, thanks." She said shyly. 

I grinned a little and grabbed her shorts. As I knelt in front of her, I caught the scent of her body wash. I have no idea what it is, but damn, it smells good. I slowly slid her shorts on her, this time my hands gripped her hips gently. Kneading them softly even. 

"Shit. I'm sorry." I sighed.

You fucking idiot, Matt! You were almost done with all of this!

"I get it." She muttered as I stood up. 

"No, you don't get it. I'm fighting this battle inside of my head at the moment. I said I wouldn't do anything, and to me, I just stepped over the line. I'm sorry." I said sincerely. 

I just shocked the hell out of her. Lexi is speechless as she stares up at me. 

"I want you to trust me, Lexi. That is what I want. And I'm fighting my fucking hormones right now." I sighed. 

She giggled at me. I looked down and smiled at her. 

"You're really sweet. Thank you for helping me. You didn't cross any lines. You'll know if you ever do." She grinned. 

I smiled more. Yes! I feel like we are getting somewhere now. I grabbed her shirt and slid it over her head. Lexi yelped when she had to shove her sore arm through the sleeve. 

"Shit, I feel so bad about this happening to you. I'm really sorry." I told her. 

"It was an accident. Shit happens." She told me. 

The mood suddenly changed once She was dressed. Lexi stared up at me, as I gazed down at her. My hand came up slowly and moved a piece of hair away from her face so I could see the bruise on her forehead. I leaned down slightly and brushed my lips over her forehead. 

"I hope you feel better soon." I said just above a whisper. 

She nodded, not taking her eyes off of me. My hand moved up to cup the side of her face. My thumb brushed over her cheek gently. I felt the palm of her hands rest against my chest. Slowly, I watched as we both leaned towards each other lips. I'm inching towards her lips very slowly, wanting to cherish every moment of this. 

"Dude! You gotta go, man!" I heard Jimmy yell from the front of the bus. 

Both of us jerked away from each other quickly. Lexi groaned and grabbed her head. 

"Dizzy?" I asked worried. 

"Yeah." She whispered. 

I cradled her against my body, hugging her gently. What in the fuck is Jimmy yelling about? I almost kissed her, but didn't, because he is yelling like an asshole! Dammit!

"All I want is to fucking make sure she is ok!" Sid yelled. 

Well, one mystery is solved. Motherfucker. Why is he here? This asshole better back off before I lose my shit. 

"I'm not in the mood for this shit." Lexi muttered. 

"Makes two of us, baby. Wait here." I told her, leaning her against the wall. 

I headed out of the bathroom and saw Sid glaring at me. 

Let's do this, bitch.


	9. Chapter 9

I walked out of the bathroom and my eyes landed on Sid at the front of the bus. Sid scoffed when he saw me. I looked over at Brian. 

"Can you check on Lexi for me? I don't want her alone in there." I told him. 

"Absolutely." Brian smiled happily, walking away. 

I looked up at Sid who has a smug look on his face. Keep it up asshole. I'll tear you apart. 

"She's fine. She's sore and dizzy. We are taking care of her." I informed him. 

"Oh? It takes five of you to take care of her? You can't handle one female on your own, Shads?" Sid asked snidely.

I'm gonna hit him in his mouth. 

"I can handle her just fine. Sounds to me like you need to worry about your other girl. You know, the one you had besides Lexi." I smiled. 

Sid's eyes hardened at me. I just hit the sore spot on him. Back off asshole. That was a warning. 

"Because Lexi is so innocent, right?" Sid glared at me. 

"She is to me." I smiled. 

"Uh huh. You'll find out soon enough how much that is a lie." Sid smirked at me. 

"You need anything else? If not, I think it's time for you to go." I said calmly. 

"Tell Lexi her and I need to talk. She knows it too." Sid told me, turning to the door. 

"Hey babe!" I yelled out, staring at Sid. 

"Yeah?" Lexi called out. 

"Sid said you two need to talk! What should I tell him?!" I yelled, watching Sid glare more at me. 

"Tell him to fuck off!" She yelled. 

"There ya go. See ya man." I smiled, waving at him. 

Sid shot me one more glare and walked off the bus. When the doors closed, Jimmy started laughing. I smiled at him. 

"Nice, man." Johnny laughed. 

"I do agree." Jimmy smiled.

"We good?" Brian asked, looking out the bathroom. 

"Yeah man." I told him. 

He opened the door more, and held onto Lexi as he let her out of the bathroom. Lexi looks exhausted between the shower and Sid's bullshit. Makes two of us. 

"Matt-" I held up a hand so she didn't continue. 

"Don't worry about it. Just get some rest." I told her. 

"Come on, doll. I'll tell ya a bedtime story." Brian grinned at her. 

"Oh god. I can only imagine." She groaned. 

"Oh stop it." Brian laughed, helping her to her bunk. 

I chuckled at them. Brian is trying desperately to make Lexi like him. At least to the point of being friends. That better be his only intention or I'll drop kick his ass. 

I sent Zack a text telling him we needed to talk. The last few days have been a whirlwind of drama, and I have a feeling Zack can fill me in more. 

I made sure someone was with Lexi while I was gone. I met Zack at a nearby coffee shop and sat down. 

"That prick come around again?" Zack asked the second he saw me. 

"I handled it." I nodded. 

"Tell me about them Zack. Lexi said he wasn't there for her and had a girl on the side. There's more." I said. 

Zack fiddled with his coffee stirrer for a moment, then looked up and sighed. 

"Lexi met Sid a year after high school. Let's just say they met at a club She worked at. Anyway, he smooth talked her into moving to Iowa with him. They had a great relationship for about five years. Then Slipknot started getting bigger and bigger. She supported him through all of it." Zack said, taking a sip of his coffee. 

"But then Sid turned into an asshole. He made her feel like shit about herself all the time. The dude was drunk or high on something all the time. Dude, I heard him telling her how ugly she was one night on the phone. Both you and I know that isn't true." Zack said disgusted. 

"No shit it's not." I growled. 

"Anyways, he started partying all the time. He left her at home alone for like a week sometimes. He never returned her phone calls. He never checked in with her. He was an all around piece of shit. He didn't care about her. He wanted arm candy, and that's what he had." Zack fumed. 

"What made her come home?" I asked. 

"Paul. Paul convinced her to come stay with me. Paul made sure she was ok. Paul always looked after her. She was a young girl in a town where she knew no one. She was miserable." Zack sighed. 

"She said Sid left her at a bar one night. Said someone drugged her and beat the shit out of her. She also said Sid never showed up to the hospital. Paul did." I said bitterly. 

Zack froze as he stared at me. I'm positive he didn't blink. 

"She told you that?" He whispered. 

"The other night. She was pretty upset." I said, looking at him more. 

Zack nodded and leaned back in his chair. I'm pushing my luck with getting answers from him and I know this. Pretty soon he will cut me off on my questions. 

"When did that happen?" I asked him. 

"About eight months ago." He muttered, looking away. 

"What really happened that night, Zack?" I asked him. 

Zack glanced at me, then away. 

"Just what she said." He told me. 

"No. I don't buy it. She is scared of anyone touching her but you. Well, Paul seemed to be ok, but you get what I'm saying." I urged. 

"I do. Matt, I swore on my own life I wouldn't tell anyone. I meant it. Don't press Paul about it either. He won't tell you." He said seriously. 

"Will Sid?" I asked. 

Zack leaned forward in his chair and glared at me. Shit! I just pissed him off. That wasn't what I'd set out to do. Not at all. I just want to know what I'm dealing with. 

"Listen goddamn it, I've known Lexi since we were kids. She's had a shit life. A really, really shitty life. I will not throw her to the fucking wolves. I refuse to. Her and I have a friendship that is closer than most siblings. Do not press me on this. I'm asking you as my friend to not press me on this." He said seriously. 

I held my hands up in defeat. No need to have him pissed at me because I'm being nosy. Zack sighed and looked at me. 

"I'm asking that you treat her like a queen. I've never felt that anyone was good enough for her, so congratulations, man. I deem you worthy." He smirked. 

And I'm smiling like a kid at Christmas! Yes! 

"For real?" I grinned. 

"Yes. But, you hurt her, I'll hurt you ten times worse. Then I'll let her loose on ya. That woman is a lethal weapon. Trust me. She could tear your ass apart." He smiled at me. 

"No shit? Sorry, but she doesn't look like she could do much." I grinned, watching his head fall back with laughter. 

"You underestimate her just like everyone does. Trust me, you shouldn't. She is mean as fuck, and could snap your neck if she wants to." He smiled happily. 

"I'll keep it in mind." I chuckled. 

"How did the shower go?" Zack snickered at me. 

I glared and leaned forward in my seat. 

"We aren't talking about that. Some things are private." I glared. 

"Easy, Hulk." Zack smiled.

After I left Zack, I hurried back to the bus to check on Lexi. I hadn't realized I'd been gone for two hours. I did stop and grab some flowers for her first. I picked out some pale blue roses that reminded me of her eyes in a way. 

Stepping onto the bus, Jimmy looked at me surprised. He smiled widely and sat back in his seat. 

"I knew you'd come around one day man. Yes, we can finally date. God, about time you asked me!" He sighed dramatically. 

I rolled my eyes at him. I heard Lexi giggle and looked over to see her laying on the couch with her head propped up in Johnny's lap. Johnny smiled and flipped me off. Brian raised an eyebrow at me smirked slyly. 

"You kiss ass." Brian laughed to me. 

"He already proved he's in love with me, dickface! Find your own man!" Jimmy yelled at Brian, making Lexi laugh harder. 

"Don't you guys need to do something?" I asked them. 

They looked at each other confused, shaking their heads no at me. Clenching my teeth I practically snarled at them. 

"Leave." I growled. 

"Why?" Johnny grinned. 

"Goddamn it!" I growled louder. 

"Come on boys." Brian laughed, getting up. 

When they finally piled off the bus, I smiled at Lexi who was slowly sitting up. I reached down and gently helped her. 

"Here. I thought you might like these." I grinned, handing her the flowers. 

Lexi's eyes are wide again as she stared at me. Sid really was a prick to her. She doesn't even need to tell me. Her reaction to this says everything. Slowly she took them from me. 

"Thank you. That was incredibly kind of you." She said quietly. 

"I meant to get them last night but I was worried about getting to the hospital." I said. 

"You guys have all been really nice to me. It means alot. Matt, I'm sorry about snapping at you the other day when you answered my phone. I didn't mean to be a bitch." She sighed. 

"I get it now. And I'm sorry for invading your privacy. That was wrong of me." I told her. 

She grinned and nodded a little. Slowly, she put her feet to the floor. I kept my eyes on her as she stood up. She was doing just fine until she went to turn around and face me. She swayed in place. My hands shot up to grab her just as she almost tumbled on top of me. My hands held on to her hips as I stare up at her. 

"I, um, saved the flowers." She mumbled quietly. 

"Uh huh. Looks like I saved you." I smiled. 

She giggled at me. I pulled her closer to me until She had no choice but to straddle my waist. My nose brushed against hers just barely. I'm determined to finish what we both started this morning in the bathroom. 

"Tell me something, Lexi." I whispered. 

"What?" She whispered. 

"Would kissing you right now be crossing any lines?" I whispered, gently placing a kiss on the side of her neck. 

Her hand that wasn't holding the flowers tightened on my shoulder. I nudged her nose with mine again, inching in closer to her lips. 

"No." She finally whispered. 

I smiled up at her. My one hand laid gently on the side of her face. I leaned up to her lips as she leaned down to mine. 

And then the Goddamn motherfucking bus doors flew open! We both sighed, just mere centimeters from each others lips. I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Our heads turned to see who it was. 

Zack cringed when he saw us. He ran a hand over his face and groaned. 

"I see I interrupted something." He sighed. 

"Ya think?" I glared. 

"Um, sorry?" He asked sheepishly. 

"I should put these in water." Lexi said, leaning up. 

I carefully helped her to her feet. I mouthed to Zack what an asshole he was over my shoulder. Zack was trying not to laugh but mouthing the word sorry to me. Lexi glanced up at me and I smiled. 

"Here, I'll help you." I smiled. 

And I want to punch my friends in the face for the second time today.


	10. Chapter 10

"Are you fucking kidding me, Zacky?" I whispered at him.

Those green eyes of his said he wasn't. He is not kidding at all. Oh my god. I'm already freaking out. 

"Lex, it's sleeping in a room together. It's one night. You and Matt will be fine." He smirked. 

"Zack! This....I'm not ready for this!" I whispered harshly at him. 

Zack has just informed me that Matt and I would be rooming together in a hotel room tonight. This past week has been awkward of constantly holding Matt's hand when we are out in public together. Oh, and that one day that we almost kissed. 

I'm so fucking confused by his actions, that I don't even know where to start. I highly doubt that Matt thinks I'm as attractive as he previously said. I'm sure he is just looking to get laid. That seems to be what all men want these days. It makes me nauseous. 

"Gotta keep up appearances." Zack laughed walking away. 

I groaned and leaned against the side of the bus. Ok. I can do this. I've been doing this, right? Sighing, I looked up. Fuck my life. Here comes the last person I ever wanted to talk to again. 

"Lexi." Sid said calmly. 

"What do you need, Sidney?" I glared. 

Sid's face fell slightly. He hates being called Sidney. Too bad. It's the least I can do for him. Prick. 

"Enough of this shit. Just come home. You know that's where you belong." Sid grinned at me. 

"How is Julie?" I asked, referring to his side girl. 

"I'm not seeing her. I haven't since you left. Look, I've changed a lot since you've been gone. I want to start over. Please, sweetheart?" He begged. 

At one time, those pale blue eyes of his would have worked like a charm on me. Not anymore. I feel disgusted with Sid. Well, and myself too. I'm pissed because I stayed as long as I did when he treated me like absolute shit. I supported him and was there for him through everything. He never once was there for me. Especially eight months ago when I needed him most. He abandoned me. 

"Leave me alone." I said, going to walk away from him. 

Sid grabbed my upper arm to stop me. I tensed feeling his hand on me again. It made my skin crawl. And it really pissed me off. I turned a little to look at him. 

"Let go. Now." I demanded. 

"Not until you hear me out. You know we love each other." Sid told me. 

"Let go." I said louder, trying to pull away. 

His grip tighten more on my arm. I felt my fists clench. I'm not letting any man put his fucking hands on me ever again. Fuck. This. 

"Motherfucker, I warned you!" I heard Zack yell. 

"Oh, fuck off!" Sid yelled. 

I turned to see Zack storming off the bus, followed by Matt. Sid still hasn't let go of me. I'm not sure who is more pissed, Zack or Matt. Matt narrowed his eyes and took three long strides over to Sid. 

"Let go of her right fucking now." Matt growled. 

"Look Shads, this isn't between you two. This is between me and Lexi." Sid said. 

"Sid, let go." Matt said seriously, inching forward. 

For once, Sid actually obeyed. He let go of my arm. Matt kept his eyes on Sid, but reached over with his one arm to move me protectively behind him. I willingly went, mainly because I was so surprised by his actions. Sid never stood up for me. Never. 

"Stay the fuck away from my girl. Got it? I won't tell your ass again. Don't come near her." Matt said, almost chest to chest with Sid. 

Sid let out a laugh and stood back a little. He looked up at Matt, sneering at him. 

"You sure she's your girl? From what I hear, she's making the rounds with you guys. Isn't that right Lexi?" Sid smiled at me. 

My face burned. I know what Sid is going to bring up, and I wish like hell the earth would swallow me up. I saw Zack crack his neck. Oh god. Glancing up, I watched as Corey, Paul and Mick came jogging our way. Oh fuck me!

"I don't give a fuck what you think you've heard, but you're wrong. Lexi and I are together." Matt said calmly. 

Sid let out that bitter laugh again. Here it comes. Zack's fists clenched more. Even he knows what is about to be said. 

"Well Matt, I guess her and Zack never mentioned that they slept together did they?" Sid smiled proudly at him. 

My eyes squeezed shut for a second. I opened them to see Paul, Mick and Corey rather surprised by this. Zack's face is so fucking red He is that pissed. Matt just let out a chuckle. I stared at him surprised. 

"Whoa." Corey whispered.

"I didn't see that one coming." Mick muttered.

"You thought she didn't tell me that? Of course she did. Jesus man. Try a little harder. Get the fuck out of here." Matt barked at him. 

Paul is mouthing 'what the fuck' to me. I shook my head to tell him we would talk later. Sid crossed his arms at Matt, still smirking. 

"You two are full of shit. I think this was some little game the two of you concocted to piss me off. I know you both aren't dating each other." Sid laughed. 

Matt smiled more, raising an eyebrow at him. He turned to me so fast that I almost jumped away from him. Matt just gave me a smile and pulled me against him by my waist. Instinctively, my arms went around his neck. Matt leaned down and pressed his lips fully against mine. 

My eyes fell shut. He is so sweet and gentle as he kisses me. I felt his tounge gently part my lips. I parted them and felt his tounge slide over mine. Matt gripped my waist, pulling me against him even more. My hand ran through his hair. Oh hell, he knows what he is doing. 

The world slipped away from us. I heard nothing around me. Matt's other arm wrapped around my waist. I found myself wanting to wrap my legs around his waist. I wanted to be closer to him if that was possible. I wanted more. I needed more. 

"Um, guys?" I heard Brian ask from somewhere nearby. 

Matt slowly pulled back and grinned at me. I smiled at him. He didn't remove his hands from me. Instead he looked over at Sid. Oh my god, I've never seen Sid so pissed off. Corey, Paul and Mick are staring at us wide eyed. Zack is just smiling at me. 

"Sorry to break up your little makeout session, but we need to check into the hotel." Brian smiled at us. 

"One second." Matt told Brian. 

Once again, Matt stood protectively in front of me and looked down at Sid. He smiled widely at the pissed off man before him. 

"Did that prove it to you?" Matt asked. 

Sid didn't say anything. Paul walked over to me about then and leaned down to my ear. 

"Girl, we gotta talk later." He chuckled in a whisper. 

"I know. Tomorrow?" I whispered. 

"You know it." He smiled, kissing my cheek. 

Matt raised an eyebrow at Paul, then grinned at him. I felt myself tense for a second, hoping he wouldn't start shit with Paul. I was happy to see that he didn't.

"Stay away from her Sid. This is your final warning." Matt said, taking my hand. 

"Mine too, asshole." I heard Zack growl behind me. 

Matt and I walked onto the bus. No one said anything as we quickly packed up our stuff for a night in the hotel. My face is on fire. I can feel it. I kept seeing the other guys smirking as they packed up. 

The rest of the guys have managed to race off of the bus towards the hotel. Zack included. This left Matt and I alone. My heart is pounding so hard in my chest. I can't believe Sid brought that up about Zack and I.

"Lexi? Is something going on between you and Zack? Just tell me now. Please don't string me along." Matt said behind me. 

Slowly I turned around to look up at him. I was positive He would have laid into me and Zack the second we were alone for not telling him. But he didn't. He looks worried. 

"No there's nothing between Zack and I. Matt, I lost my virginity to Zack on prom night when I was seventeen. It only happened that one time. God, this is embarrassing." I groaned. 

"Really?" He asked surprised.

"I'm so sorry you had to hear that-" Matt stopped me, making me sit down on the bunk. 

He knelt down in front of me and grinned. God, I should of hit Sid in the face. Fucking dickhead!

"Just explain it, ok?" He grinned. 

"I didn't want to lose my virginity to some piece of shit that I barely knew. I basically asked Zack. We had known each other for so long, it just...I don't know, seemed like the right thing to do?" I sighed. 

"And?" Matt asked amused. 

"Well, it was awkward. How the hell else did you think it would be?" I asked, watching him laugh hard. 

"I don't mean to laugh. It's just, after seeing Zack in a panic the other week about having to possibly help you shower, well, I can see how awkward it probably was for both of you." He smiled. 

"We couldn't even look each other in the eyes for a month afterwards. I just knew Zack wouldn't be an asshole about it." I groaned. 

"Lexi, it's fine. I didn't enjoy hearing that, but, I get it. In a way, I kind of expected it, so it wasn't that surprising." He grinned softly at me. 

"I'm so sorry about you being shoved into all of this." I sighed again. 

"Woman, you really don't get it, do you?" He smiled wide. 

"Um, no?" I asked. 

"Lex, I'm fucking crazy about you. I have been since the moment I met you. I don't want this to be pretend. I want it to be real." He said quietly. 

My heart is in my throat. Why would He like me of all people? There are so many better women out there, yet he wants me? I'm baffled. I can't even talk. All I'm doing is staring at him. 

"Say something. Just tell me if you don't feel the same way. I'll understand." He said sadly. 

"No! I just...I'm surprised." I whispered. 

"Why?" He asked confused. 

"Because you're you and I'm me. I mean, I don't have a lot to offer you." I said, looking away. 

Matt's fingers lifted my chin up so I would look at him. My heart pounded harder in my chest. Those hazel eyes of his stared deeply into mine. Matt leaned in and slowly kissed me again. Sparks ignited around me. His touch is unlike any other I've ever felt. He's gentle and takes his time. I've never felt so at ease when I kissed someone before. 

"Bullshit. You have so much to offer me." He said when we pulled away. 

"But-" Matt grinned and kissed me one more time. 

"No. You do. Whatever Sid told you, he was wronng. It's time to start believing that." He said to me. 

Say what? What did Zack tell him exactly?

"How..how did you know?" I whispered. 

"I could just tell. He used to talk down to you, didn't he?" He asked as I nodded. 

"Whenever you want to tell me about it, I'll listen." He said. 

"He used to say I wasn't good enough." I blurted out. 

"Excuse me?" He asked angrily. 

I nodded again, watching Matt tense. 

"I wasn't worth his time and he didn't know why he kept me around." I said. 

Why the hell won't I just shut up? I need to.

"I'll beat his ass if he comes near you again. I promise you, I will." Matt said sternly. 

I don't doubt it for a second. Matt has that intense stare at me. 

"How about we check in, get some dinner. Just the two of us?" He asked hopefully. 

"Um, ok." I grinned, watching his dimples grow.


	11. Chapter 11

I looked in the mirror in the bathroom. I made sure my hair was laying flat like I had wanted it. Black eyeliner rimmed my eyes, which made the pale blue of them stand out even more. I straightened out my button up white shirt that had a dark purple tank top under it. My shorts looked ok. I mean, they were just cut offs anyway. Wedged sandals on my feet. I can do this, right? I mean, it's just dinner. 

Oh god, does he expect sex after this too? I'm really not ready for that. Will he understand if I tell him no? I'm ready to puke. Calm down. 

My phone beeped and I looked at the text message. Paul. I grinned when I saw it. He was asking what I was doing tonight, and I informed him that Matt and I were going to dinner. He was responding with his blessing basically. 

Taking a deep breath, I opened the door of the bathroom and stepped out of it. Matt was standing by the window, digging around in his suitcase for a shirt. Damn. I never really took the time to appreciate him before when I've seen him like this. Very nice on the eyes. 

Not wanting to be caught staring, I walked over to my suitcase and tossed the clothes I had changed out of into it. Matt turned around to look at me with his shirt in his hands. And now he is staring at me. No words, just staring. My face is heating up. 

"Too casual?" I asked awkwardly. 

Matt shook his head vigorously at me. Ok. That's good. But why isn't he saying anything?

"Um, everything ok?" I asked, watching him nod. 

He suddenly snapped out of his daze and smiled at me. He yanked his shirt over his head, then closed his suitcase. 

"Sorry. Everything is fine. Ready?" He asked me. 

I nodded and we headed for the door. Matt went to open it, then immediately shut it. I nervously glanced up at him. 

"I meant to tell you that you look beautiful tonight. Just like you do every time I see you." He said quietly. 

My face is red. I know it is. It's been a very long time since anyone has paid me such a nice compliment. I'm rather startled by it. 

"Thank you." I said quietly. 

Matt nodded, leaning down to kiss me gently again. He smiled and opened the door this time to let us out. We walked hand in hand to the elevator. Lucky us, we ended up riding the elevator with a few sixteen year old girls who kept staring at Matt. Matt chuckled, turning around to talk to them. 

A few autographs later, Matt said goodbye to his fans. He held my hand again as we walked through the lobby. Both of us stopped suddenly when we heard kissing noises behind us. Turning around, Brian and Jimmy were standing there blowing dramatic kisses at us. 

"Why am I not surprised?" Matt asked them. 

"Paul said you two were going out. Where ya going?" Brian smiled at us. 

"Away from you two dipshits." Matt glared. 

"Shads! You said you loved me!" Jimmy yelled loudly. 

I giggled while Matt shook his head at them. Matt tugged on my hand and we left the hotel. I can't stop laughing at Jimmy. He is so crazy. 

"Glad they amuse you." Matt smirked at me. 

"They do. You have no idea how nice it is to be around you guys. You guys aren't moody and pissed off all the time." I said. 

"We try not to be. I assume the time you spent with Slipknot was less than happy?" He asked, opening the door of the restaurant for me. 

"You have no idea." I muttered. 

The guys in Slipknot treated me nicely. They really did. Sid did for a long time too, until he changed one day. Even so, the guys were nothing but kind to me. I will give them that. 

After we sat down and ordered our food, Matt reached across the table and held onto my hands. 

"How did you and Sid meet exactly?" He asked curiously. 

I felt my eyes go wide at his question. Fuck! There is something I could live without Matt every knowing. My face is getting red again. Matt just smirked at me. 

"Oh, just tell me." He laughed. 

"Ok. After high school, I moved to LA for a while. I met Sid one night when he was done recording at the studio for their first album. We met at my job." I cleared my throat a little. 

"Which was?" Matt asked. 

"Um, dancing?" I asked, seeing his eyes go wide. 

"Dancing? Like...um, hip hop?" He asked weakly. 

Had I not been so embarrassed, I would of laughed. But, I'm so embarrassed, that I can hardly talk. I don't want Matt thinking less of me. I didn't enjoy what I did, but I had to pay bills in order to live.

"No. I was a stripper for a little while." I whispered. 

"Sweet baby Jesus." He whispered, not taking those wide eyes off of me. 

Fuck! I want to die. I really do. I didn't think this would ever come up again. Guess I was wrong. 

"Lexi, it doesn't matter to me. I know you're worried about it. You can stop." He grinned. 

"It's embarrassing as hell for me." I groaned. 

"Why? Who gives a shit? You did what ya had to do. Who cares?" He shrugged.

"I can't believe you're so calm about all of this." I mumbled. 

"Babe, I'm under the assumption that you didn't wake up one day and decide to do that as your career, correct?" He grinned. 

"Very true. It was the last thing I wanted to do." I said. 

"See? Stop worrying about it. Don't be embarrassed." He told me. 

"And here I was a few weeks ago, thinking you were an asshole for answering my phone." I muttered, watching him laugh. 

"I've been called worse." He smiled. 

"Well, at least you know. I'm sure it will get brought up." I sighed. 

"Let him. Did Sid keep coming back to see you or something? Is that how you guys hooked up?" He asked. 

"He was like a feral cat. Yes." I said. 

Matt chuckled, then smiled slyly at me. 

"I can't blame the guy." He shrugged. 

Talking to Matt is so easy for me. What strikes me most is, he actually listens. He wants to know everything about me. He wants to hear about my love of photography. I've never had anyone so interested in my life like he is. It's nice. Really nice. 

We finished with dinner and headed back to the hotel. The guys were in the bar of the hotel, and Matt wanted to stop in and have a beer with them. I do not drink at a bar anymore after what happened to me. I won't even take a glass of water. That's how much it bothers me. The night I got drunk with Zack, we spent our time behind the arena drinking. It was just the two of us. 

"Want a beer?" Matt asked me. 

I felt Zack's eyes on me. I smiled and shook my head. Zack leaned into my ear. 

"Not a damn thing will happen with us here. I swear on my life, Lexi." He whispered. 

"I know. It just freaks me out." I whispered. 

"Secrets don't make friends!" Brian called out to Zack and I. 

"No shit. That's why you're not involved in it. Lexi thinks you're a dick." Zack smiled. 

"I never said that, you little shit!" I shrieked at Zack. 

"She did not say that. In fact, she said I have amazing cheekbones." Brian smiled. 

"She felt sorry for your ass." Johnny grinned. 

I just laughed at him. Brian gave me a painful look. 

"Run away with me. We can leave right now, and start a new life, Lexi." Brian sighed dramatically at me. 

"I'll run your ass out back and beat the shit out of you, dickhead." Matt growled at Brian.

"Shads really loves me. Don't get comfortable, Lexi." Jimmy smiled. 

"I'm sorry we stopped by." Matt smiled at me. 

I giggled and shook my head at him. He leaned over and kissed my forehead. My phone vibrated. Paul. What the hell? Grabbing my phone, I felt my heart drop when I saw the message.

Paul: Sid is hella pissed and looking for you. Did you not tell him you're selling the house?! 

Me: Oh shit!

"Oh shit." I hissed. 

"What's wrong?" Matt asked worried. 

"Um, I put my house up for sale in Iowa. Uh, Sid still lives there. I didn't tell him. The house sold today." I cringed. 

Those guys roared with laughter. I did mean to tell Sid. I really did. I have been kind of busy lately and it did slip my mind. 

"I love ya, Lexi!" Zack laughed hard, kissing my cheek. 

"Yeah, well, Paul said he's looking for me. He's not happy." I groaned. 

"So let him." Matt just smiled, drinking his beer. 

I heard a low whistle and glanced at Brian. He motioned with his head towards the doorway.

My eyes wandered over to the door. There is Sid. He is standing with his arms crossed, glaring at me. I was having a good time tonight. I really was. Not anymore. Sid will make a scene in here. I already know this. Feeling sick to my stomach, I took a deep breath. 

"I need to deal with this." I told Matt. 

"Nope. Not alone." Matt said, shaking his head. 

"Invite him over." Johnny smiled at me. 

"I'd rather not have this explosion in here." I told them. 

"That's fine. I'll wait nearby. Let's go." Matt said. 

"Me too." Zack snarled, getting up. 

"Fuck! That means Zack and Matt are gonna get into a fight. That also means that Matt is not gonna pull Zack off of Sid, or vice versa. Both Matt and Zack are gonna beat Sid until he is fucking dead. Let's go." Brian sighed, getting up with the guys. 

I already know how ugly this is going to get between Sid and I. I just wanted one night of happiness. 

Looks like that isn't going to happen.


	12. Chapter 12

Matt held my hand as we approached Sid. I'm certain that Sid is vibrating with anger the closer we get. Matt gave my hand a gentle squeeze.

"We need to talk. Alone." Sid snarled at me. 

"Look man, I don't trust you. Not for one fucking second. I'm gonna be close by. Keep that in mind." Matt warned Sid. 

"Whatever. Let's go, Lexi." Sid ordered me. 

For the first time ever, I didn't obey his request. I glared at him. 

"You are done talking down to me. I'll talk to you, but you better watch your fucking mouth, Sidney." I snapped.

No one is more surprised than Sid. Never once did I ever talk back to him when we were dating. No matter how low He made me feel, I never got loud with him or stood up for myself. That's changing today. 

"You heard the lady. Better play nice." Matt glared. 

"Ok. Can we talk outside?" Sid asked hotly. 

I shoved past him and walked out the doors. Sid followed me a little bit away from everyone. Sid glanced over at the guys and shook his head, then looked at me. 

"Was that your one last kick to balls for me? Is that what that was? Packing up and leaving me while I was in California wasn't enough?" Sid demanded. 

"No. I've been busy. I meant to tell you." I shrugged. 

"Bullshit!" Sid yelled. 

I cringed when he yelled. Sid liked to yell alot when were were dating. I hated it. I never yelled at him. Never ever. I glanced over at Matt who has his fists clenched. Zack has Jimmy in front of him to block his view of Sid. 

"I don't have to explain myself to you, Sid. Just like you never had to explain yourself to me. Once the tour is over, you'll have sixty days to move out. If you aren't out by then, the police will remove your shit. The house was in my name alone." I glared. 

"I fucking paid the bills, you fucking bitch!" Sid yelled at me. 

That was when I saw a fist fly into the side of Sid's face. I jumped back to get out of the way. Sid stumbled back and fell on his ass. Matt stood over him as the guys ran up. 

"Call her a bitch again. I fucking dare you. I wasn't playing around, Sid. Stay the fuck away from Lexi." Matt snarled. 

"Matt, back off." Brian said, shoving Matt back. 

"Is that what I mean to you now, Lexi? You have your boyfriend defend you? You can't even talk to me?" Sid yelled. 

"Man, you need to walk it off. I'm serious, Sid. I've always like you. Let's keep it that way." Jimmy said. 

"I have no idea what I ever fucking saw in your worthless ass. You'd still be stripping, or hell, probably giving blow jobs by now if it wasn't for me." Sid seethed. 

Did I call it or what earlier? I knew he would throw that in my face. I gasped at him. Everyone fell silent, staring at me. I'm not sure what finally snapped inside of me, but I felt myself launching at Sid. Before I could reach his ass, two arms caught my waist. 

"Fuck you, Sid! Fuck you!" I screamed. 

"No thanks. You're well on your way of making the rounds with these assholes." Sid said snidely. 

Both Matt and Zack went at Sid. However, luck was on Sid's side today. Some of the security guards were outside smoking and ran over to break up the fight. 

Little fucking asshole! 

I'm still struggling to get out of the grip on my waist. I don't even know who the fuck has a hold of me. I'm so angry and hurt at Sid's words. 

"Calm down sweetie." Brian said calmly in my ear. 

"Please let go." I whispered. 

"If you calm down, I will. I'm not trying to be a prick. I'm really not. He's not worth it, sweetie. He's just not." Brian said, walking me backwards with him. 

Hot tears ran down my face. I'm so angry. It's been years since I've been this angry. I hate crying, and I hate it even more when I'm pissed. And I'm embarrassed. Brian moved around until he was standing in front of me. I looked away so he didn't see my tears. 

"Lexi, look at me." Brian said softly. 

"I'm...I'm gonna go." I said, pulling away from him. 

As I walked away, I can hear the guys yelling. I wiped my eyes and went in search of the one person who can calm me down besides Zack. I didn't know what room Paul was in, or if he was even there. Luckily, I saw Corey staring out the lobby window at the fiasco outside. He grinned a little when he saw me. 

"Hey. You ok?" Corey asked. 

"Yeah. Aren't you going to help your friend?" I asked. 

"Nope. We all told him to calm down first. He wouldn't listen." He shrugged. 

"What room is Paul in?" I asked. 

"306. He's just hanging out with Joey." He told me. 

I waved at Corey and headed up to Paul's room. I knocked on the door and waited. The door opened to reveal Joey. He smirked at me, then let me inside. 

"Figured you'd show up." Joey told me. 

"Sorry." I said quietly. 

Joey and I never really spoke on deep levels or anything. He's always been polite to me, but that's as far as it goes. 

I looked up and saw Paul laying on the bed. He grinned and held his arms out to me. I went over and climbed onto the bed and let him hug me. I laid there with my head on his chest. Joey put on his headphones and blasted the music. At least he won't be listening to us. 

"So, did the date suck that bad, or did you have it out with Sid?" Paul chuckled. 

"The date was fine. Then Sid ruined it." I said, laying my head on his chest. 

"I figured that would happen." He sighed. 

"He told everyone how I used to strip. Then said if it wasn't for him, I'd still be stripping and probably sucking dick by now." I said, sitting up. 

"He did, did he?" Paul growled. 

"Matt punched him in the face, and Zack went after him too. Some of the body guards broke it up. Corey was watching through the lobby window." I grinned, watching him laugh. 

"Typical Corey." He smiled. 

Paul looked at me seriously, then checked to make sure Joey was still listening to music. 

"What does Matt know?" He asked. 

"That I was beat up at the bar." I whispered.

"Lexi, it's ok to tell people what happened. Don't hide from it." He said. 

"I don't want him to change how he feels about me." I said. 

"You mean like Sid did?" He asked. 

I nodded, feeling the tears fall. Paul shook his head and wiped the tears away. He grinned a little. 

"Matt isn't Sid. I've known Matt for a while. He's a nice guy. Give him a chance. You may be surprised." He told me. 

"I'm just scared. I don't even know if I'm ready for this." I mumbled. 

"So you two did do this to fuck with Sid." He smiled.

"Yes. No. Hell, I don't know. Matt told me today that he wanted it to be real." I sighed. 

"So make it real. Stop putting your life on hold because you don't think you're good enough. You are, and you know you are." Paul said firmly. 

"I'm trying." I said. 

"You really slept with Zacky?" He laughed. 

I glared and swatted him on the shoulders. Paul just laughed harder. I let out a laugh. I love Paul's crazy laugh that he has. It's contagious. 

"Sorry. I just didn't expect to hear that one today." He smiled. 

"I didn't need it brought up again either." I grinned. 

A loud knock on the door made me jump. Paul threw something at Joey to get his attention. Joey glared and pulled his headphones off. 

"Get the door." Paul laughed, making me lean back with him. 

"Dick." Joey scoffed, getting up. 

"You're mean." I grinned up at Paul. 

"Nah. He likes it." Paul smiled. 

I heard the door open, followed by quiet talking of male voices. The door shut again. I heard footsteps and froze when I saw Joey and Matt. Oh god. He probably thinks I'm a huge slut laying like this with Paul. I tensed up even more when I saw him. 

"Hey man!" Paul said to Matt. 

"Hey Paul." Matt grinned. 

Paul nudged me a little. I sat up and glared at him. He just smiled and shoved me closer to the edge of the bed. 

"Go see your boyfriend." Paul grinned. 

I went to move and didn't realize how close to the edge I was. Of course I fell out of the bed and onto my ass. The three of them laughed quietly. 

"Shit! Sorry! I didn't realize how close you were to the edge." Paul laughed harder. 

I flipped Paul off and grinned. Matt smiled and leaned down to help me up. I grinned nervously at him. I wonder if he is going to yell at me once we leave this room. 

"Call me later." Paul grinned, waving at us. 

Nervously, I headed out to the elevator with Matt. We stood quietly as we went down a floor. Matt hasn't said a word, and I'm dreading going inside that room. 

Once Matt let us inside the hotel room, I slipped my shoes off. Matt sat down on the bed and looked at me. He frowned, his eyebrows wrinkled up. 

"Babe, what's wrong?" He asked. 

"Nothing." I said too quickly. 

"Look, I'm sorry about that shit earlier. Sid pissed me off too much today." He sighed. 

He's apologizing to me? Really? I just stared at him. 

"Lex, what is it? Are you mad at me?" He asked worried. 

I shook my head. Matt held a hand out to me. I slowly reached for it, and he pulled me to sit beside him. 

"Talk to me." He said. 

"I figured you'd be mad because I ran off and was laying in a bed with Paul when you showed up." I muttered. 

"Really?" He laughed, making me look up at him. 

"Babe, I'm glad you left. You didn't need to be around all that shit. I know you and Paul are just friends, just like you and Zack are." He said. 

"Oh." I whispered. 

"What did you think I was going to say?" He asked curiously. 

"That I was a giant slut for laying with Paul." I groaned. 

"Lexi, I'm not Sid. I never will be. You're allowed to have friends, male or female. Unless you're making out with one of them or sleeping with one of them, I don't see an issue with it." He said. 

"Jesus, I'd never do that." I whispered, horrified. 

"I know that. I'm not mad at you. Not even a tiny bit. Brian is worried you're mad at him for not letting you at Sid." He grinned. 

"No. I didn't want him to see me crying. And I'm so fucking embarrassed by what Sid said in front of everyone." I said. 

"Who cares? Fuck what Sid said. He's an asshole." He told me. 

"I'm aware." I sighed. 

Matt reached over to grab my hand in his. I looked up to see him smiling at me.

"What?" I asked. 

"Nothing. I just want to see you happy. That's all." He said, tucking my hair behind my ear. 

"Do not listen to what Sid said. He's mad and hurt. He will get over it. If not, I'll beat his ass again." He smiled. 

"You really didn't have to do that." I told him. 

"The hell I didn't. He will not speak to you that way. No one will. My mother raised me to treat women with respect. Call me old fashioned, but I won't stand for it." He shrugged. 

I stared into those gorgeous hazel eyes of his. I'm overwhelmed with feelings for Matt. I've really only dated Sid. That was my only serious relationship. I had no idea that any man could be so caring and kind. 

Before I could stop myself. I leaned up and kissed Matt hard. I heard him groan against my lips. He pulled me against him harder. 

"Thank you." I whispered. 

"Uh huh. What are you thanking me for again?" He panted. 

"For defending me." I said. 

"Oh yeah. Hell, you're welcome." He muttered, kissing me hard. 

I let out a giggle against his lips. I felt Matt smiling as he kissed me more. He pulled away and grinned. 

"You tired? God knows I am." He chuckled. 

"Yes. Let's go to sleep." I grinned.


	13. Chapter 13

"Got a second?" Brian asked me a few days later.

Well, damn. I had been avoiding him for this very reason. I knew he wanted to talk to me. I'm not upset with Brian for holding me back from kicking Sid's ass or anything. I just don't know Brian that well, and I feel awkward around him. I'm pretty certain He knows this too. 

"Um, sure." I said, following him towards his dressing room. 

Brian closed the door and looked at me painfully. What the hell is with this guy? He acts desperate to be my friend some days. It's so odd. 

"Lexi, I'm so sorry about the other day. I just didn't want you caught up in all that shit. I'm sorry." He pleaded with me. 

"Oh, it's fine." I said, looking away from him. 

Brian groaned and threw himself face first onto the couch in his room. Drama queen. Jesus. 

"No it's not! You don't even like me!" He sighed, not looking at me. 

"Jesus, Brianna. Calm down." I grinned. 

Brian slowly turned his face to look at me. A mischievous smile spread over his lips. He quickly sat up and smiled more. 

"So you do like me." He said excitedly. 

"Hold up! As a friend." I glared. 

He rolled his eyes dramatically at me and grinned. 

"Did you just friend zone me?" He smiled. 

"I'll crush your balls, Brian." I said to him. 

"At least you'd be touching them." He smiled, wiggling his eyebrows at me. 

"Brian." I groaned. 

"Girl, I'm kidding. Good God. Do you think I have a death wish? Matt would kill my ass. Damn. I know you want me and all, but this is getting out of hand." He smirked. 

I let out a laugh. This man never takes anything seriously. There is always a perverted comment of some sort. 

"Ok, I'll be serious. Sit down for a second." He said. 

I sat down on the chair across from him. Those dark eyes stared at me seriously for once.

"Lexi, we all care about you. What I'm getting at is, you can talk to any of us. We will listen. No matter what it is. You act so uncomfortable around us half the time. None of us are gonna bite your head off or anything." He said.

"I know...it's just hard for me. Things haven't been good in my life for a long time. I'm trying. I hope you know that." I sighed. 

"I do. Listen, about what Sid said that day." He started, making me groan in pain.

Fucking Sid and his loud ass mouth. This is exactly why I've avoided him, Jimmy and Johnny. I'm embarrassed. 

"I don't know your story, so I have no room to judge you, nor would I anyway. Whatever your reasons were, it's fine. He had no right bringing that up. And if you're worried about us knowing about...that, don't be. None of us think less of you. Hell, if anything, I saw ya in a whole new light." He smiled at the end. 

"You are such a dick." I grinned. 

"Right? It's a gift." He laughed. 

"What I'm saying is, stop avoiding us because of this. Yeah, I'm on to you, lady." He smirked. 

"It was that obvious?" I muttered.

"I was waiting for you to run away from us screaming. Yes, it was." He chuckled. 

"I'm sorry. I'm not good at talking to people, or communicating my feelings. I was just so embarrassed." I sighed. 

"No reason to be. And by the way, Sid talks to you like that again, I'll break his goddamned hands. We've all had enough of his shit." He told me seriously. 

"Thanks, Brian." I smiled at him. 

"I'm gonna walk you through the next steps of friendship. Now we hug." He smiled. 

Right. These guys are big into hugging. I can do this without freaking out. I'll be fine. Standing up, Brian leaned in to hug me. The door of his room flew open as I had my arms around his back. Jimmy smiled like a Cheshire cat at us. He ran over and threw his arms around us, hugging tightly. 

"Hey Jim." Brian mumbled into his chest. 

"I love you guys!" Jimmy sighed happily. 

"What in the fucking hell? Babe, stop hugging those two assholes." Matt laughed. 

"Um, I don't have a choice. Jimmy has a death grip." I mumbled into Brian's shoulder. 

"Ok, Jim. Ease up." Matt said amused. 

"No! Fuck you, Shads!" Jimmy yelled out. 

"Can't breathe, Jim." Brian muttered. 

"Shit. My bad." Jimmy said releasing Brian and I. 

Finally I was able to pull away from Brian. Brian smiled at me. 

"You get used to hugs from Jimmy." Brian grinned.

"Yes you will, missy." Jimmy smiled, kissing my forehead. 

"Eww! Don't do that! God only knows where your mouth has been Jimmy." Matt said, gently wiping my forehead. 

I giggled at them and grabbed my camera. I adjusted the lens and snapped a picture of Jimmy smiling. That guys eyes always show so much love and energy. I love capturing moments like this. 

"I gotta find Zack. I'll be back in a bit." I told them. 

"I'll walk with you." Matt said. 

Matt the ever protective boyfriend. I will say that we haven't heard a word out of Sid these last few days. It's a relief, and I'm able to actually relax when I'm around Matt. Matt held on to my hand and smiled down at me. 

"Is Brian better now?" He asked. 

"I think so. He called me out on avoiding him." I said. 

"I figured he would. Everything ok?" He asked. 

"Yeah. I think the awkwardness is gone between us now." I said. "Now he is giving me a step by step lesson on friendship."

"Good." Matt smiled, pulling me closer to him. 

We found Zack backstage messing with his guitar. He smiled when he saw me. Matt kissed my cheek and walked away. Zack motioned for me to follow him. We walked into a nearby empty room and closed the door. 

"You talk to Matt yet?" He asked. 

"No." I sighed.

"Lexi, just tell him. If I didn't think Matt was good enough to date you, I'd of told you that. He's gonna be supportive. You just need to say something to him and trust him." Zack said. 

"I can hardly talk about that night." I mumbled. 

"You need to start. Just tell him what happened. Matt's a good guy. Don't push him away. Please?" He begged. 

"I'm really trying. Give me just a little time." I said. 

"I know. I'm sorry. I don't have any right to push this. It's not my place to." He said, looking at me. 

"I'm sorry I wasn't able to be there that night for you." He told me seriously. 

"You were on tour." I pointed out.

"Doesn't matter. I should of left when Paul called me. I'm glad Paul was there. I really am." He said quietly. 

"Me too." I whispered. 

"About the other night with Sid." He sighed, staring more intently at me. 

"I'll break every fucking bone in Sid's body if he talks to you like that again." He said, his eyes hardened. 

"Brian just told me he'd break his hands if he talked to me like that again." I grinned weakly. 

"I'm not kidding, Lexi. Sid did nothing but verbally beat you down for four years straight. I can't stand his ass. You're like a sister to me. You know this." He said, hugging me. 

"I know. Thanks." I said, leaning my head against him. 

"Was Matt ok about, you know, what happened between us a long time ago?" He asked awkwardly. 

"You mean the awkward sex we had years ago?" I asked. 

"It wasn't that bad!" He shrieked, pulling away from me. 

"You shook my hand afterwards, Zacky." I stated. 

"Oh god. I did, didn't I?" He groaned, cringing at the same time. 

I giggled and nodded. Yes, he really did that. To this day I still find it amusing. Zack looked at me and both of us busted up laughing. 

"I'm so sorry! I had no idea what to do!" He laughed harder. 

"Not shake hands!" I laughed harder with tears in my eyes. "I just hope you don't do that with every girl you're with."

"Christ! No, I don't!" He wheezed, still laughing. 

After we both calmed down, I grinned at him. 

"Matt suspected that something had most likely happened between us. He was more worried that I had feelings for you. I eased his mind by telling him the truth." I said. 

"That's good. Right?" He asked worried. 

"Yes, Zacky. He understood." I said. 

"Good. I guess it doesn't matter now, but don't tell people about that night." He smirked. 

"I didn't mean to tell Sid. It just came out one night." I glared. 

"Stop drinking and telling people shit. I know how you are girl." He smiled. 

"Got me there." I grinned.


	14. Chapter 14

"You ask her." Jimmy whispered at Brian. 

"Fuck you! You brought it up! You do it!" Brian hissed. 

"Make Johnny do it." Jimmy whispered, getting the finger from Johnny. 

"Ask me what, boys?" Lexi asked. 

We had been driving to our next destination, and Brian and Jimmy have been whispering like a couple of teenaged girls for the last few minutes. 

I grinned over at Lexi. This last month She has opened up more to the guys. I think everyone is feeling more comfortable with each other. She laughs more too. And smiles. She has a beautiful smile. 

And Sid? Let's just say he has kept his distance since I punched him in the face that night. That doesn't stop him from glaring at us, or giving the two of us dirty looks. But, he has remained quiet, so I'll take it. 

"Fuck it. I'm asking." Jimmy announced. 

Brian groaned, shrinking down in his seat. Lexi crossed her arms and waited impatiently. 

"What was your stage name when you stripped?" Jimmy blurted out. 

My eyes bulged out of my head. What the fuck is he thinking!? I'm about ready to snap. Well, until I heard her laugh. 

"Really? That is what you two are dying to know?" Lexi smiled. 

"Yeah." Jimmy said seriously. 

"Babe, don't answer that!" I shrieked. 

"Who cares?" She asked me. 

I smiled. Good for her. Who cares is exactly how she should feel about that. 

"Diamond." She laughed. 

Jimmy is over the moon about this. Brian looks ready to die, and Johnny is staring at her, waiting for her to go on. 

"Nice! Should of been Sex Kitten." Jimmy stated. 

"Shut the fuck up!" Zack yelled at Jimmy. 

Jimmy flipped him off and smiled at Lexi. 

"What was the name of the club you worked at?" Jimmy asked excitedly. 

"Panthers in LA." She giggled. 

"Huh. I'll definitely check it out." Jimmy muttered. 

The guys and I all stared at Jimmy. He glared at us. 

"What? I like tits! Fuck you!" Jimmy growled at us.

He turned back to Lexi and smiled wide at her. Lexi is now unphased by Jimmy's odd behavior. 

"Last question. What was your song you danced to?" He grinned.

"I'm gonna beat your ass Jimmy." I growled. 

"It's fine." Lexi told me. "This should kill his curiosity for a bit." 

"Pony, by Ginuwine." She smirked at Jimmy. 

Even my eyes lit up at hearing this. 

"That's the ultimate stripper song!" Johnny said happily. 

"I'll kill you." I glared at him. 

"We are done talking about this." Zack glared at them.

"Who is she dating? You or Shads?" Brian smirked at him. 

"You want me to beat your ass Brian? I will. I have no problems with that." Zack smirked. 

"You didn't answer the question." Brian taunted him. 

"Me, you fuckwit. I'll kick your ass too." I snarled.

"Calm down gentlemen." Lexi snickered. 

I smiled and pulled her closer to me. My arm wrapped around her and I buried my face into the side of her neck. I love whatever perfume she wears. It's a light floral scent that I can't get enough of. Lexi leaned into me more and laid her head against my chest. Her eyes closed. 

"Tired baby?" I asked her. 

"Yeah. I didn't sleep good last night. Johnny was snoring." She mumbled. 

"Sorry, love!" Johnny grinned. 

"It's ok. I'll just take a nap." She sighed tiredly. 

I kissed her forehead gently and held her close to me. I wish she would sleep with me every night, but she doesn't. Only sometimes. I have yet to understand it, but I don't question it either. I just enjoy the time that she does spend with me. 

It didn't take her long to fall asleep. I felt her body relax against me. I smiled and let her sleep for a little longer before carrying her back to her bunk. I laid her down and her eyes opened at me. Fear. That is what emotion is in them. 

"You're ok." I whispered. 

"Will...will you stay for a bit?" She asked me quietly. 

She's never asked me to stay before. I always ask her. I was delighted by this. I grinned and slid my shoes off. Crawling in next to her, I laid so her head was on my chest. 

"Better?" I whispered. 

"Yeah." She whispered. 

The next morning we were on a beach in Texas. I was just glad to be somewhere warm. I watched as Corey walked over to us with a volleyball while we sat on the beach hanging out. 

"Up for a game? Six of you and six of us. Come on." He smiled. 

"Wanna play?" I asked everyone. 

Zack let out a laugh and smiled at Lexi. 

"It's not a real game. No need to get all competitive." Zack told her. 

"Eat shit. Yes it is real." She glared. 

"Oh my. Someone likes volleyball." Jimmy smiled. 

"She played in high school. Let's hope we win." Zack chuckled getting up. 

I can't wait for this. I don't see Lexi as being overly competitive. She's too quiet. 

As the game went on, I realized exactly what Zack was talking about. That girl is awesome at volleyball, which surprised me because she's not that tall. And damn, does she talk mad shit to everyone. I love seeing this side of her. 

Anyways, Paul was on the side being our referee. Corey, Jim, Mick, Joey, Shawn, and Chris were playing against us. No sign of Sid, which we all were happy about but didn't express it.

We were down by a point when Lexi turned and glared at Zack, who was getting ready to serve the ball. Lexi ran over and whispered something to Zack. He busted up laughing, but nodded. 

Jim was on the other side of the net from Lexi. He had been playfully talking shit to her most of the game. Lexi had been wearing shorts and a shirt over her bikini. I had been disappointed that she hadn't taken off at least her top, but I kept the comments to myself. 

Before Zack had served the ball, Lexi smiled sweetly at Jim. I was about to ask what she was smiling about when she slowly pulled her shirt over her head. Fuck. Me. Sideways. 

Everyone was staring, including my own asshole friends. The bright pink bikini top stood out against her pale skin. God, she is beautiful. And holy hell, she is definitely not lacking any cleavage at all. My god. 

Jim's eyes went wide at her, while the other guys on his team were craning their heads to get a better view. Zacky yelled out the points and served the ball, which nailed Jim on the side of his head and snapped him back to reality. I've never laughed so hard in my life. Hell, all of us are laughing our asses off. I can't stop. 

"That's bullshit! I call foul! Tits were out! That's not fair!" Jim yelled at Paul, who is still laughing. 

"Tits were covered up! Not a foul!" Paul laughed. 

"Dick move, girl." Jim grinned at her.

"Eat a dick, Jim." She smiled while he laughed.

We were close to the end of the game when Sid came strolling out with some trashy looking bitch in tow. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she was a slutty groupie from the looks of her. Her overdone blonde hair. Fake nails and tits. Enough makeup to start her own Avon line. Let's not forget about her barely there swimsuit either. It hardly covered anything up. While most men would stop and stare at her, I found this girl to be rather repulsive and fake.

Her and Sid sat down on the sidelines. The girl made a scene of sitting in Sid's lap. Corey looked over at Lexi. Lexi looked a cross between being pissed and disgusted. 

"She just showed up today. I'm sorry." Corey told Lexi quietly through the net. 

"Not worried about it." She grinned a little. 

Deep down, I wonder if she still has feelings for Sid. I want to believe She doesn't, but, there is this voice nagging me in the back of my head that she still does. It makes me nervous. Would she really want to go back to him after he treated her so badly? If so, why? 

Shoving my feelings and fears aside, I spiked the ball over the net for game point. Lexi smiled at me. I yanked her into me by her waist and kissed her hard. She giggled when we pulled away. 

"Now I don't have to call you a pussy for not hitting the ball." She smiled. 

"You mean like you did to Brian when he missed it?" I laughed, watching her nod at me. 

"Hey! I could barely see over Jimmy's lanky, bean pole looking ass!" Brian yelled. 

"Sure." Lexi said sarcastically. 

"I will throw your ass in the fucking water." Brian glared playfully at her. 

The guys from Slipknot busted up laughing when they heard his threat. Even Zack is laughing. 

"Good luck, Gates! Take it from me, she shows no mercy." Mick smiled. 

"Oh suck it up, Michelle!" Lexi yelled at Mick, grinning. 

"You kicked me square in the balls! Fuck off!" Mick yelled. 

"You hit Mick in the balls?" I asked surprised. 

"Yeah. He tried throwing me in a pool once. He ended up going in, and got kicked in the nuts." Lexi told me. 

"Nevermind." Brian laughed, one hand going over his manhood as he walked away. 

I saw Lexi shake her head a little at the girl sitting on Sid's lap. 

"Who is that?" I asked her. 

"Julie. The side girl." She said. 

Now it makes more sense. She isn't angry. She's hurt. At least I hope I'm reading that correctly. I would be feeling the same way if my ex flaunted their significant other in my face like that. 

"Can I ask you something?" I asked hesitantly. 

"Sure." She shrugged at me. 

"You still have feelings for Sid at all?" I asked. 

Lexi's eyes turned almost a silver color when they hardened at me. She narrowed her eyes at me. Aw, shit! I just asked the wrong thing. Damn it!

"Really nice, Matt." She snapped, storming away from me. 

I let out a sigh as I stood there. She is so hard to read some days. I had to ask for my own peace of mind. I would of explained this to her had she given me the chance. 

"That's a definite no, man." I heard Paul say behind me. 

I turned around and looked at him. Paul took a long drink of his beer and looked at me through his sunglasses. 

"We should talk." Paul said. 

"I think you're right." I told him, following him down the beach.


	15. Chapter 15

"So, what's up?" I asked Paul. 

"You like Lexi, right?" He asked when we stopped walking. 

"Of course I do." I told him.

"You're not the type of guy that gets freaked out easily, right?" He asked. 

"No. Where are you going with this?" I asked him. 

"Lexi has had some bad shit happen to her. Her and Sid broke up because he refused to believe her. I want to make sure that if shit gets rough between you two, you're not gonna bail because you don't think you can handle it. That isn't what she needs right now." Paul told me. 

"I'm not that type of person. Does this have to do with the night Sid didn't pick her up from the bar?" I asked. 

"It does. There are only four people that know about that night; Lexi, me, Zacky, and Jim. You know half of it." He sighed.

"How does Jim know? She never mentioned that." I said. 

"Because he was with me that night. He went to the hospital with me. Lexi didn't know he was there until I told her later on. They've never talked about it, and they won't." He said, leaning against a giant rock. 

"Paul what happened that night? I've got a pretty good idea, but I don't want to make assumptions." I sighed. 

"It's not my story, man. I want to tell you because you have the right to know. I've pushed for her to tell you. Give her some time. She doesn't talk about it much. Even with Zacky." He said. 

"How bad was she hurt?" I asked him. 

"Physically? Really bad. Head to toe in bruises. Mentally? Well, she's recovering. She's moving past it. She couldn't do that in Iowa. I convinced her to go home to Zack. Zack had been begging her to come home. I'll tell you this, she is doing much better than the last time I saw her." He said. 

"She is much more talkative than when I first met her." I grinned. 

"It takes her a while to warm up to people. But, I see she is falling into place with you guys. And, she is starting to look happy. I haven't seen that way in a while." Paul smiled. 

"Good. I want her happy. Speaking of, I need to find her and explain myself." I groaned. 

"She's pissed because you asked her that question. Her feelings for Sid died a long time ago. She's mad at him, and has every right to be. She also doesn't feel like she's good enough for anyone." He shook his head. 

"That's bullshit. It pisses me off that She feels that way." I sighed. 

"Me too. But how would you feel when the person you loved turned their back on you, then had someone else on the side? You'd feel just like She does." He said sadly. 

"That's true. I guess you're right." I grumbled. 

"Go explain yourself. If you can't find her, give her some time. She will be back." He smirked. 

"What the hell does that mean?" I asked. 

"She takes off when she wants to be left alone. And seriously, don't worry about her. That girl will be fine. She is a fucking badass. I'm telling you." He smiled. 

"Badass or not, it still bothers me her being alone in a city that she knows no one in." I pointed out. 

"Dude, she makes our bouncers look like teddy bears. I've seen it first hand. It was one night in Denver after our show a few years ago. Some asshole tried getting handsy with her at a bar. She moved so fucking fast it was unreal. Before anyone had time to react, Lexi had his feet out from under him and broke his goddamn nose with one strike of her hand. This guys buddy got pissed and came at her. She jabbed him in the ribs just as fast, then threw him on his ass. It was less than thirty seconds tops." Paul laughed. 

"Holy shit." I whispered. 

"That night between you and Sid? She let Brian pull her away. That is what I'm saying." He smiled proudly. 

"So, she's the next Steven Segal?" I laughed. 

"More like Jean Claude Van Dam." He chuckled. 

"Thanks man." I grinned. 

"Anytime." He smiled. 

After I left Paul, I went on the hunt for my girlfriend. I searched the beach and came up empty handed. I walked a little ways towards a park and was in awe of what I was seeing. 

Lexi was in the park with her headphones plugged into her phone. She was practicing ballet is what it appears to be. She spun herself around like a ballerina in one of those jewelry boxes that kids have. She would jump through the air, then dip down gracefully. It was well...beautiful. That's the only way to describe it. 

I walked closer and noticed two little girls around the ages of four and five sitting on a bench with their mother. The three of them are smiling as they watched her. One little girl with giant brown eyes and pigtails smiled up at me. I couldn't help but smile. I love kids. I really do. 

"She's a pretty princess ballerina." She smiled at me. 

The other little girl and her mom smiled and looked over at me. I nodded and sat on the far end of the bench to watch her. 

"Is she your wife?" The woman asked me.

"Girlfriend." I smiled. 

"She is so talented and beautiful." She told me. 

"Yes she is." I said quietly.

The song must of come to an end for Lexi in her headphones. She was so caught up in her own world She must not of noticed anyone watching her. She slowly slid the headphones off and stared at all of us nervously. The little girls and their mom started clapping. So did I. It was really something to see. Lexi grinned nervously at us. 

"Mommy! I wanna be a ballerina!" The one girl said. 

"We will see. Come on girls. We need to go home." The mother said while taking their hands. 

I smiled at her while she pulled her sandals back on. Lexi looked up at me awkwardly. 

"Come here, babe." I said, patting the spot next to me. 

Lexi slowly walked over and sat down beside me. I heard her let out a sigh. 

"I'm sorry I got upset with you. I don't have feelings for Sid. It just hurts having him rub that in my face. It hurts knowing I wasn't enough. That is what upsets me, and I took it out on you. I'm sorry." She said, not looking at me. 

I turned sideways to look at her. When she didn't move, I grinned more, and turned her to face me. 

"I wanted to be sure of it. Sometimes you're hard to read, and I needed to know for my own peace of mind. I should of approached it differently, and I'm sorry." I said. 

"Don't apologize to me. I went into instant bitch mode." She sighed. 

"Nah. You didn't kick me in the balls, so I think you're good." I smiled, watching her eyes meet mine. 

She grinned a little at me. I tucked her hair behind her ear. 

"Ballet huh? I had no idea." I chuckled. 

"I used to do ballet in junior high and high school. I figured this was a less violent route instead of beating Sid to death." She said bitterly. 

"I will agree. So, I was talking with Paul. Pretty sure I got the big brother lecture from him. He was much nicer about it than Zack was." I laughed. 

"Oh god." She groaned, leaning her head on my chest. 

"Oh stop. It was fine. And you got into a bar fight one night?" I asked. 

Lexi's head slowly moved up to meet my eyes. She scowled at me. I let out a laugh. 

"You're the next Jean Claude Van Dam, huh?" I smiled. 

"No. There can only be one of him." She grinned. 

"I'm impressed. Does that mean anything?" I laughed. 

"Because I beat someone up?" She asked. 

"Yeah. And the whole ballet thing to. That kinda sealed the deal for me." I smiled. 

"You are such a dork." She laughed. 

"Yep." I grinned, pulling her into me. 

By the time we got back to the beach, there was a huge bonfire going. All of my guys and Slipknot were sitting around drinking beer. 

The sun had just set and it was getting darker. I pulled Lexi down to sit in front of me in the sand. She leaned back against my chest and my arms went around her. I felt her shiver. 

"You cold?" I whispered in her ear. 

"Yeah." She whispered. 

I leaned back and pulled out my hoodie that will be huge on her. I gave it to her and she pulled it on. We sat like we originally had been. 

"Lex! I'll give ya twenty bucks if ya kick Brian in the balls!" Jimmy yelled out. 

"You are such an asshole, Jimmy!" Brian yelled while we all laughed. 

"No, Jimmy." Lexi laughed. 

"Horseshit!" Jimmy called out. 

"Gotta love the guy." I grinned. 

"Is that the girl you were telling me about?" Julie asked Sid.

"Yep." Sid muttered. 

Goddamn it! They better shut the fuck up. 

"Huh. No wonder you have me instead." Julie smiled at Sid. 

"God I hate that bitch." Corey mumbled next us. 

"I'm gonna head in." Lexi said quietly to me. 

She went to move and I held on to her. She looked over her shoulder at me. I shook my head. I'm tired of this asshole fucking with her. And I'm already tired of Julie. 

"No. We aren't leaving because of them." I said quietly to her. 

"I'm leaving so I don't break her fucking face or her fake tits." Lexi said to me. 

I grinned at her comment. Glad I wasn't alone on thinking Julie had fake tits.

"Just relax. If it gets to be too much, we will leave. I promise." I told her. 

"Ok." She sighed. 

And it didn't take long for Julie to start in on Lexi. It was Maybe a few minutes later She started to run her mouth. 

"So, Sid said you're a stripper...Lisa is it?" Julie asked Lexi. 

"Sid also said you're a whore. What is your point exactly? And it's Lexi. Not Lisa, you fucking slutbag bitch." Lexi blurted out. 

About half the guys choked on their drinks, Sid included. Julie glared at Lexi. Corey is about falling back with laughter. Sid looks pissed though. I can't stop laughing quietly at her comment. 

"Cute. I assure you he didn't say that about me." Julie smiled. 

"This bitch is pissing me off even." Johnny muttered close by us. 

"Relax, baby." I whispered in her ear. 

"I'm fine." She said, tilting her head to kiss me. 

"Trust me, I know you are." I smiled suggestively at her as she giggled at me. 

"Hey Lexi? I forgot to tell you, Damian asked why you haven't come around." Sid glared bitterly at her. 

The whole mood changed in a heartbeat. Lexi is frozen solid in place. Zack and Paul are ready to explode. Everyone else has curious stares between them. I'm certain I can feel Lexi's heart pound at the mentioning of the name Damien. 

And that is when everything spiraled out of control.


	16. Chapter 16

"Shut the fuck up, Sid!" Zack yelled, getting to his feet. 

Lexi is almost panting. I held on to her tighter. I can feel her start to shake under my hands. 

"Baby?" I asked quietly. 

"How dare you." Lexi said to Sid in a low tone I've never heard before. 

"Sid! Why would you say that?" Paul yelled. 

Brian looked at me worried. I'm not sure what is about to happen, other than Zack may finally choke Sid to death. 

I didn't wonder long. Lexi was just gone from under my hands. I shit you not, I didn't even feel her move away from me. All I heard was the sound of feet hitting the sand and I looked up. 

Lexi kicked the chair that Sid and Julie were in, causing both of them to fall back in it. 

"What the fuck!?" Sid yelled. 

"Stupid bitch!" Julie yelled, getting up.

Lexi backhanded Julie in the face. Julie cried out as she fell into the sand. 

"Holy shit!" We all yelled. 

I glanced at Zack. Zack is just as the rest of us are. In absolute awe of it all. Lexi stood over Sid and brought up her one hand, then threw it down into the side of his ribs. Sid yelled out, gasping in pain. He rolled and held onto his side. 

Lexi wasn't done. And no one can move because we are all so shocked by this. Lexi leaned down over Sid and I'm honestly not sure where she grabbed him exactly on his neck, but Sid is groaning and moving in agony. 

"Paul! Give me your phone!" Lexi yelled. 

"Lex, don't do this." Paul pleaded with her. 

"Now!" She screamed. 

Paul cursed under his breath. He took out his phone and hit a few things on it. He took a deep breath and handed her the phone. Lexi yanked it from him and shoved it in Sid's face. 

"Look at it." Lexi demanded. 

Sid didn't comply with her demands. Lexi tightened her hold on his neck. 

"I said fucking look at it!" Lexi yelled at him. 

I finally got up and moved. I don't know what is being shown, but this needs to stop. I walked over to see Lexi with tears pouring out of her eyes. Sid stopped squirming in agony. Lexi had let go of his neck at least. Sid stared at the picture horrified. He looked up Lexi. 

"Now do you believe me?! Huh?! Fucking answer me!" Lexi screamed, tossing Paul's phone aside. 

"Baby, let's go." I said quietly, bending down. 

I wasn't expecting her to elbow me. That came out of left fucking field. I grunted when she hit me in the stomach. Shit, that hurt!

"Fuck." I coughed out. 

"You ever mention his fucking name to me again, I will kill you." Lexi growled at Sid. 

"Lexi, stop." Sid said quietly. 

"Fuck you! You don't get to talk! You don't get to feel bad! You don't get to do anything because you fucking didn't believe me!" Lexi screamed, slapping Sid rather hard in the face. 

That asshole had that coming to him too. He had all of this coming to him. Taking a deep breath again, I leaned over and gently took Lexi's hands. Slowly her head turned to meet my eyes. I nodded at her a little. 

"Come here, kitten. It's ok." I whispered. 

And just like that, Lexi was back. The person I just witnessed seconds ago was gone. Lexi let out a sob as she looked at me. 

"It's ok. Come here." I whispered, pulling her to me. 

Lexi let out another loud sob when her head met my chest. I sat there in the sand hugging her tightly as she sobbed her eyes out. 

"What was that, Sid?" Corey demanded. 

"It's private." Sid said sitting up.

Whatever he saw, he is clearly distraught over. He hasn't even glanced at Julie to see if she is alright. He sat looking at the ground. 

"Someone needs to answer me. What the fuck was that? Paul?" Corey asked. 

"Corey, I...I can't." Paul muttered. 

"Sid! What the fuck did you do?" Corey growled, stepping closer to Sid. 

"I fucked up. I really, really fucked up." Sid wiped his eyes. 

"Matt, get her out of here." Brian whispered in my ear. 

"What about-" Brian shook his head at me. 

"I'll take care of it. Get her to the bus." He told me. 

"Baby, I'm gonna carry you to the bus." I told her softly. 

Lexi didn't respond. I lifted her into my arms and started walking. I got us onto the bus and sat down in the first seat I could see. I held her in my lap and let her cry for a while. I can hear loud arguing outside, and for once, I just don't even care what is happening outside. 

"Baby, who is Damien?" I asked finally. 

"I helped him teach Krav Maga classes in Iowa." She sniffled, finally sitting up. 

Lexi crawled off my lap and walked over to the bar we have. She grabbed a bottle of tequila and pour herself a shot. Once that one was gone, she poured another one and drank it. 

"I had known him for years." She said, slowly turning to face me. 

"I saw him that night at the bar. Matt, I didn't tell you the truth before." She said, wiping her eyes. 

"Tell me the truth this time." I said, gently tugging her hand to sit across from me. 

"When Sid didn't pick me up that night, Damien offered me a ride home. He wanted to have a drink first. I did leave my drink unattended when I went to the bathroom. By the time we got outside to his car behind the bar, the drugs had kicked in. I felt weak and dizzy. I was so high, I didn't understand what was going on." She said tearfully. 

"When I realized something wasn't right, I started fighting back. I was weak, and my movements were slow because of the drugs. He beat my ass so bad that night. Then he pulled me into his car. I can't talk about what all he did." She sobbed out. 

"That's ok. Tell me what happened next." I whispered, holding her hands. 

"He shoved me out of the car when he was done. He drug me over towards the alley and then left me there. I was in so much pain. I was so drugged up that I couldn't even move hardly. Someone heard me crying and came to check it out. It was a girl. I wish I knew who she was so I could Thank her. She called the police. When I got to the hospital, I asked them to call Sid." She sobbed harder. 

"He was on his way to Julie's house. He said Damien wouldn't do something like that. He hung up on me. I called Paul. Paul came. When I was released the next day, Paul put me up in an apartment that his sister just moved out of. It was on the other side of town. I didn't want to see Sid after that. I knew Sid was leaving the day after I got out of the hospital to California, so Paul had some people pack my stuff and bring it to the apartment where I stayed for a while. He took care of me." She cried harder. 

As awful as it feels, I knew that was what had happened to her that night. For once in my life, I hated that I was right. 

"What happened to Damien?" I asked. 

"I told police I didn't know who it was. I was too terrified of him killing me, because he easily could." She sobbed. 

"Last question. What did you show Sid?" I asked her. 

"Proof. Paul took pictures of me in the hospital. I asked him to. I don't know why." She sobbed out. 

I pulled her into my lap and held her. Anger, disgust, and sorrow coursed through my veins. I understand her now. More than I ever had before. I get why she is so secretive. Why she doesn't trust people. Why she feels so badly about herself. Everything makes sense. 

"Never again. This will never happen again." I whispered to her. 

"Don't treat me differently." She whispered. 

"I won't." I whispered, kissing her forehead. 

It took no time at all before Lexi passed out from exhaustion. I carefully laid her down in her bunk and covered her up. I sat up front drinking a beer. That was what I was still doing when the guys finally came back. All of them look sickened and disturbed. I don't blame them. 

"Everything ok?" I asked quietly. 

"No. It's not." Jimmy replied grimly. 

"What happened?" I asked. 

"Everyone knows now. It didn't take much for them to put the pieces together. Sid is a fucking wreck too." Zack said, staring at his hands. 

"He has no fucking right to be upset." Johnny growled. 

"Why didn't you let me beat Sid's ass?" Brian snarled at Zacky. 

"Because whatever we do, nothing will ever hurt him like he is hurting now. The guilt is killing him. And for me, that's enough." Zack said bitterly, standing up. 

He walked back to check on Lexi. I watched as he leaned down and kissed her cheek before retiring to his own bunk. 

"Did she talk to you?" Jimmy asked. 

"Yeah. I know all of it now." I said quietly. 

"I'm sorry man." Brian said. 

"We all are." Johnny told me. 

"Don't feel sorry for her. She doesn't want people treating her differently. Please don't." I told them. 

"If that's what my little missy wants, that's what she shall get." Jimmy smiled. 

"Is she sure about-" I stopped Brian by nodding my head. 

"Alright then. Business as usual." He grinned a little. 

"Will do. Besides, she told me I'm her favorite." Johnny smiled walking away. 

"He wishes." I grinned.


	17. Chapter 17

Everyone knows. That is all that played through my mind as I laid in my bunk that night. I feel disgusted with myself for snapping like I had in front of everyone. I'm embarrassed and angry. The fucked up part of it is, I'm no longer mad at Sid. I have no idea why. Maybe it's because he finally believes me. 

I have to get off of this bus. I'm not sure I can face everyone in the morning. I grabbed a few sets of clothes and quietly shoved them into my bag as everyone slept soundly. 

I crept towards the front of the bus with my bag in hand. As I got closer to the doors, a light popped on. I jumped at the person sitting beside the lamp. 

"See, I thought you might do this. That's why I've been sitting here all night, doll." Brian grinned. 

I'm so stunned that I can only stare at him. Brian rubbed a hand over his face, leaning forward in his seat. 

"Lexi, sit down please." He said quietly. 

Still unable to speak, I obeyed his request. I sat across from him and just stared at him. 

"Thanks. I know tonight was pretty fucked up for you. I know you didn't mean to snap like you did. I also know you don't want to face any of us in the morning. Am I right?" He asked. 

I just nodded my head at him.

"You did nothing wrong. It's time for you to believe that. You are not to blame." He said. 

"Then why do I feel so disgusted with myself?" I whispered tearfully.

"Because you're blaming yourself for something you didn't have control over. You have to forgive yourself. You just have to. You can't move on until you do, sweetie." He said seriously. 

"I'm trying." I whispered, wiping my eyes. 

"I know that. And you're doing great. I think this needed to happen for you to start to really move on." He sighed. 

"I can't sleep." I sobbed out. 

"Come here." He grinned, pulling on my hand. 

I moved over and sat next to him. Brian put his arm around me and shoved my bag to the floor. 

"There is no where you need to be besides here. You're stuck with us, doll. Kinda like flies on shit." He said amused. 

I let out a laugh at how absurd that sounded. Brian chuckled and squeezed me tighter. 

"Go to sleep. I'll be right here in the morning." He said. 

"Won't that be weird?" I asked. 

"I mean, I can make it weird if ya want." He smiled at me. 

"No, I'm good." I giggled. 

"Good. Now let's lay down because I'm exhausted from sitting here. And I'll put a blanket barricade between us so nothing, uh, unexpected happens." He said. 

"You are a dick." I grinned at him. 

"Most days that is what I think with." He smiled, making me laugh. 

I laid down with Brian, who kept his word of a blanket barricade between us. It was kind of funny to me, but at least He was thinking of me in his own strange way. I fell asleep quickly after that. 

"Well. This is new." I heard someone chuckle. 

I didn't open my eyes. I'm still exhausted from last night. I just want to sleep, and I'm very comfortable laying next to Brian for some odd reason. 

"Gates? Why are you sleeping next to my girlfriend?" I heard Matt ask amused. 

My eyes shot open hearing his voice. All of them are standing there with smirks on their faces. 

"Because she said she needed some Syn in her life." Brian muttered behind me. 

"The fuck she did!" Matt shrieked. 

They're all laughing, Brian included. I felt his head come up over my shoulder. He smiled at all of us widely. 

"Yes, she did." Brian taunted Matt. 

"Babe, move. I'm kicking Brian's ass." Matt growled. 

I giggled and rolled off the couch. Matt jumped on top of Brian and punched him in the arm. Brian is laughing his ass off. Matt smirked and got off of him. He leaned down and helped me off the floor. 

"Asshole." Brian grinned, sitting up. 

"I'm going to get changed." I said, walking away. 

That feeling of awkwardness fell over me again as I grabbed my clothes. I slipped into the bathroom to brush my teeth. Damn, I must of slept a while, because they are all ready for the day except for Brian and I. 

The door of the bathroom opened just as I finished brushing my teeth. Matt smiled softly at me. I gave him a quick grin and started the shower. I felt Matt's hands come around my waist. I leaned against him sighed. What is this man doing with someone like me? He is too sweet for his own good. 

I felt him kiss up the side of my neck gently. My eyes shut. Matt turned me around to face him, pressing his lips over mine. 

Since we have been dating, we haven't done anything other than kiss or hold hands. I'm nervous about anything else, and I have yet to tell him this. 

When I felt his hands move from my waist to my ass, I tensed up. Matt leaned up and looked at me. My thoughts drifted to that night. Cold clammy hands. That is what I remember most about that night.

"Did I scare you?" He asked. 

"Um, no. Just....nervous." I said. 

"Lexi, look at me." He said, taking my hands. 

He placed both of my hands on each side of his face for a moment. He pulled them away and looked at me. 

"Close your eyes for a second." He said. 

I closed my eyes and felt him do the same thing with my hands again. He gently kissed the inside of my one wrist. No clammy cold hands drifted into my mind. 

"Open your eyes, kitten." He whispered. 

My nervousness was gone for the moment. It was Matt. It wasn't anyone else. Just Matt. Sweet, gentle Matt. 

"Close your eyes again." He whispered. 

I closed my eyes and heard him shuffle around for a second. He gently took my hands again, then placed him on his bare chest. That's what He was doing. He took his shirt off. 

"Open your eyes, baby." He whispered. 

I opened my eyes to see him staring intently at me. 

"It will always be me. It won't ever be anyone else." He said quietly. 

My hands laid gently on the sides of his face again. Matt's eyes fell shut. I pulled him down to my lips. He pulled me close to his chest, his hands moving down my waist. He stopped when they reached my ass again. I didn't freeze up this time. Matt broke away from our kiss and moved to my neck. Gentle kisses went up one side of it. 

"It's just me, baby. You're in charge here. You always will be." He whispered, assaulting my neck with kisses. 

My hands roamed over his chest. My heart is pounding in my ears. This feels....right. It feels good. I feel wanted and cared about. It's been years since I've felt like this. 

"You tell me to stop. You tell me what you want." He whispered, kissing me harder this time. 

"God, Lexi. I want you. I'll always want you. Hell, I need you, who am I kidding?" He panted, kissing along my collarbone. 

I gasped and let him continue. Gentle, caring and perfect. Those are the only words to describe Matt. I'm too caught up with the way he is making me feel to worry about anything else. 

Feeling daring, I kissed his neck slowly up one side of it. Matt groaned, his hands squeezing my ass more. I bit gently at a spot on his neck, then slowly ran my tounge over the same spot. 

"Holy shit, Lexi. I didn't know that spot existed." He panted in a whisper. 

"Now you do." I whispered, tugging gently on his ear with my teeth. 

"Christ, I'm trying to not maul you like a bear right now." He said in a gruff voice. 

I let out a giggle and looked at him. Matt just smiled wide at me. 

"True story." He smiled, kissing me deeply again. 

"I should get in the shower." I said to him. 

"Oh yeah. The water is running." He sighed. 

He smiled mischievously at me. I gave him a questionable look, wondering what he was thinking. 

"If I turn around until you're in the shower, can I stay?" He asked hopefully.

"Sure." I laughed, watching how happy he was at this. 

Keeping my eyes on his, I pulled my shirt off. I quickly undid my shorts, letting them pool at my feet. I still have on my bikini from yesterday. Matt hasn't moved or possibly even breathed as he stares at me. 

"Why didn't I see this yesterday?" He whispered. 

"You saw the top half." I reminded him. 

"Uh huh. But I should of seen this. Good lord, babe." He sighed.

Matt chewed nervously on his thumbnail as he stared at me. His foot tapped on the floor. 

"You ok?" I asked him worried. 

"Yep. Just letting my thoughts go crazy." He muttered. 

"What thoughts?" I asked. 

Matt's eyes darkened at me. He stepped closer to me, yanking my waist against him. His eyes filled with lust. My hands laid on his chest. 

"Thoughts of having you against this counter. Thoughts of you with your back pressed against this wall while I'm buried deep inside of you." He growled, kissing my neck roughly. 

I moaned quietly. My body feels hot at every touch. Matt's hands roamed over my body. I pulled him closer to me. Matt let out a groan and pressed my back against the wall. My one leg went around his waist, desperate to be close to him. Matt let out a moan, then pressed his hips against me more. I gasped and moaned at the feeling. 

"God, just like this. That is what I'm thinking about." He panted, gripping my thigh in his hand. 

"As much as I want you, I want you to tell me when you're ready. I want you to tell me when that is. And you damn well deserve more than being in a bathroom with me on a tour bus. You deserve so much more. I'll show you that." He whispered, kissing me softly. 

"I...I don't know what to say." I whispered. 

"Say nothing. You don't need to. Your eyes already told me you agree. Better get in the shower, baby." He whispered, pecking my lips. 

We stepped apart and I sighed. Flashes of last night replayed in my head. I rubbed my forehead as I stared at the floor. Suddenly my head came up to stare at Matt. 

"I hit you last night." I whispered. 

"Technically, you elbowed me." He grinned. "And it was a good one too."

"I'm really sorry." I said horrified. 

"Don't be. I knew the risks when I approached you. You were a little preoccupied." He grinned. 

"Still, I'm sorry." I said embarrassed. 

"Get your shower." He smirked, turning around.

By the time I undressed and stepped into the shower, I was so overwhelmed with emotions. My emotions have gone through a massive bipolar rollercoaster in the last twenty four hours. 

My only thought that stood out was, am I really ready for a relationship?


	18. Chapter 18

"What?" I asked them when I was finally ready for the day. 

All of them are grinning widely at me as I sat down next to Matt on the couch. Jimmy let out a laugh. He smiled at me. 

"I can't help it. I gotta say this. That was the best pimp slap I've ever seen in my whole fucking life last night, when you backhanded the fuck out of that girl." Jimmy grinned. 

Oh shit. I did do that. I had actually forgotten about it until now. I grinned a little, feeling my face getting red. 

"Keep your pimp hand strong, girl." Johnny smiled at me. 

His comment made me laugh. Once I started, I couldn't stop. I'm not sure why I found it so funny, but they apparently did too. All of them are laughing hard. 

"Sorry. I had enough last night." I grinned when I calmed down. 

"About time, too." Zack said to me. 

"I handled that really badly though." I sighed. 

"Bullshit. You did not. Those two assholes had a lot more coming to them than that." Brian said. 

"True. But, I should of picked a different time." I said quietly. 

"You cut that shit out. I'll be goddamned if any of us are gonna sit here and watch you beat yourself up over this." Zack said sternly. 

"I just wish everyone hadn't been there is all." I told him. 

"It doesn't matter. What matters is, now you can move on." Matt told me gently. 

I nodded and heard a pounding on the door. I froze. I hope like hell that isn't Sid. I'm not ready to face him just yet. Well, anyone in Slipknot besides Paul. 

"It's Paul and Corey." Brian said, letting them inside.

Paul and Corey greeted everyone before fixing their gaze on me. Corey cleared his throat and grinned a little. 

"Got a second?" Corey asked me. 

"Sid isn't outside. I promise." Paul told me. 

"Um, sure." I said, standing up. 

Matt pulled on my hand gently. I leaned down and pecked his lips quickly. He gave me a serious look. 

"We are right here if you need us." He said quietly. 

I nodded and headed off the bus. We walked towards the front of it and I turned to them. 

"Lexi, I'm so fucking sorry." Corey sighed. 

I bristled hearing that. Great. Here comes the pity party. Not what I want at all. 

"Before you say anything, hear me out." Corey said. 

"I know shit was fucked up with you and Sid for a long time. We all knew it. I'm sorry we weren't there for you like we should of been. I really am. Look, Sid is a fucking mess. I know you don't want to hear that, but he is. I think you two need to actually talk." Corey sighed. 

"You're fucking kidding me, right?" I growled. 

"No, I'm not." Corey said seriously.

"Because Sid is having a hard time, I should suddenly care? You have some fucking balls coming at me with this shit!" I yelled at him. 

"Lexi, it effects everyone in the band. Not just Sid." Corey reasoned. 

Unfucking believable. I cannot believe what I'm hearing. I really can't. Hell, just last night I wasn't even mad at Sid anymore. I'm not feeling that way now. Not at all. I'm feeling pissed again. 

"That's not my problem. Sid is no longer my problem. Sid made his choice a long time ago, and it wasn't me. So, I'm sorry if he isn't his best on stage and he feels guilty or hell, needs a tampon because it's his time of the month even. It's not my problem. Imagine how I fucking felt that night when he didn't believe me and then hung up on me. You can fuck right off with that." I spat at Corey.

Paul let out a chuckle and grinned. Corey looks annoyed that I'm not falling over myself to go make sure Sid is ok or happy. Fuck that. Sid made his choice. That choice was to not believe me. 

"This problem isn't going to go away. You know it won't." Corey pleaded. 

"That is where you're wrong. My problem with Sid would go away if he could shut the fuck up and leave me alone. He needs to get over himself. Just like you do." I snapped at Corey. 

"I'll see you later." I kissed Paul's cheek. 

Paul wrapped me into a hug. He grinned down at me. 

"You doing ok?" He asked me. 

"I'm working on it. Sorry about last night." I said.

"Shh. You stop that. It was a long time coming." He said, kissing my forehead. 

Paul let go of me. I glared at Corey and stormed past him. I'm livid as I walked onto the bus. All eyes turned to me. Matt frowned when he saw me. 

"What the hell happened?" Matt asked. 

"I just told Corey to go fuck himself." I snapped. 

I slapped a full bottle of water off of the counter. I heard Zack groan. He ran a hand over his face and looked at me. 

"Lex, take a deep breath." Zack said calmly. 

"No! I refuse to calm down!" I yelled at him. 

"Babe, what happened?" Matt asked, carefully taking my hands. 

I blurted out all the bullshit that Corey had just thrown at me. Matt's eyes looked like two green emeralds the more I talked. He is just as pissed as I am. 

"Fuck that shit! Was he serious?" Matt roared. 

"Yes." I snapped. 

"Ok! Everyone needs to calm down!" Jimmy yelled out. 

"Doll, just take one calm breath for me." Brian smiled. 

"You're about to get a guitar shoved up your ass." I snarled at him. 

"Alright. I'll try the deep breathing thing again in a few minutes." He smiled. 

"Let's go for a walk." Matt said to me. 

I didn't get a chance to respond. Matt just took my hand and made me follow him off the bus. He held my hand as we walked about six blocks. Neither of us said anything the whole time either. 

Finally we stopped at a bike path that had some benches to sit on. He sat down and wrapped an arm around my waist to pull me next to him. 

"How are you doing?" He asked. 

"I don't know. I really don't. I'm mad, then I'm not. I'm hurt, then I'm not. I have no idea what I am." I sighed, leaning my head against his chest. 

"You don't have to be anything right now. That was wrong of Corey to ask you to talk to Sid. And you're right, Sid isn't your problem anymore." He told me. 

"I enjoy this tour when it has it's drama free moments. They seem to be few and far between right now." I grumbled. 

"I know. We only have four more months." He chuckled. 

"God, I can't wait." I said sarcastically. 

Matt laughed, placing a kiss on my forehead. 

"It will be fine. Know what? We have three days off next week. We should get a hotel away from everyone. How does that sound?" He asked. 

"Really?" I asked, leaning up to look at him. 

"I think both of us could use some time away from everyone. This way we can go to dinner or do whatever we want, and no one is around to cause any bullshit. What do you say?" He asked. 

"Sounds like paradise." I grinned. 

"Good. I'll make the arrangements then. I plan on taking you on an uninterrupted date." He grinned. 

I let out a laugh, thinking about how our last date ended with him and Sid throwing punches at each other. He smiled at me. 

"I would love that." I smiled. 

"Me too. And speaking of uninterrupted, we are staying here for a while. Wanna make fun of people riding bikes or walking the bike path?" He grinned. 

"You mean like that lady over there with the spandex pants, sporting a camel toe?" I grinned, watching him laugh hard. 

"That is exactly what I am referring to." He laughed.

"I'm game." I giggled.


	19. Chapter 19

"What the fuck?! You're like ten fucking feet tall! That shit isn't fair!" Brian yelled at Jim Root. 

We've been playing a game of basketball with some of the guys from Slipknot. Brian, Jimmy, Corey, Jim Root, Chris, and myself have been getting our asses handed to us by the two fucking giants. Jim is almost as tall as the Goddamn hoop. 

It's been a week since all that shit happened with Lexi and Sid on the beach. Sid hasn't come around either of us at all. Every time we do see the guy, he has this wounded animal look. If Sid hadn't fucked with Lexi so much, I'd almost feel bad for the guy. 

Almost. 

Speaking of Lexi, here she comes now. I held in the groan I wanted to let out when I saw her in her tiny shorts and spaghetti strap purple tank top. She left her hair down to fall in waves over her shoulders. She smiled at me as she approached. I smiled and leaned down to kiss her quick. 

"Hey. What's up?" I asked her. 

"You guys have sound check soon. In about twenty minutes. Johnny told me to remind you." She said. 

"Tell his short ass to let me finish my game." I grinned. 

Lexi snatched the ball out of my hand. I heard Corey groan loudly. She smirked and spun the basketball on her index finger. My eyes narrowed at her. 

"Oh really?" I smirked.

"Oh yeah." She smiled. 

"Lex! Tag me out! I'm done!" Jimmy yelled out. 

"Fuck! I hate when she plays anything!" Chris yelled. 

Lexi slapped hands with Jimmy and started to dribble the ball. Chris went to block her and she bounced the ball between his legs, moving quickly behind him to gain control of it. She jumped and landed the ball in the hoop. 

"Fuck!" Jim yelled painfully. 

"We playing or what?" She glared at us. 

"Your girl needs a twelve step program on how to not be so competitive." Brian laughed to me. 

"No shit. I thought I was bad." I laughed. 

Lexi gut checked Corey with the ball to his stomach. Corey hunched over coughing. He groaned and stood up. 

"Jesus fucking christ, Lex! Did you not win the big game once? What the fuck!" Corey laughed. 

"No. You're just a pussy!" She yelled, making another shot. 

"Goddamn it! Stop letting her play!" Jim yelled at me. 

"She's really good though." I pointed out. 

"She kinda is." Brian laughed. 

Jimmy was over on the sidelines being a cheerleader. If the man would of had pom poms, I'm sure he would of been elated. 

Two more baskets later, we won. I take that back. Lexi won. I was rather impressed with her skills, and basically stood there watching her. She's awesome. 

"Hey Fehn!" Lexi yelled out. 

Chris had started to walk away, but stopped. He turned to her and she gave him a hard gut check as well to the stomach. Chris caught the ball after it hit him rather hard. He groaned and looked at her. 

"What the fuck!?" He yelled. 

"August 23rd, 2006. You barfed on my fucking shoes. We're even." She grinned. 

We busted up laughing. Chris nodded with a laugh and started to dribble the ball back to his bus. We waved at Jim as he strolled away. 

Corey, however, decided to hang around for a minute. He looked at Lexi. She simply shook her head. 

"Don't, man." She warned.

"Lex, I've never asked you for anything." Corey pleaded. 

"Then don't start now." She snapped. 

"Just talk to Sid and I'll leave it alone." He sighed in frustration. 

"Corey, she said no. Leave it alone." I said sternly. 

"Right. Sorry. I'll see you guys." He muttered, walking away. 

"Does anyone in that band understand the meaning of no?" Brian asked me. 

"Apparently not." I said. 

"I'm gonna go change." Jimmy announced. 

"Hey Lexi! I'm gonna make you a trophy! Woo hoo!" Jimmy yelled, walking off. 

"I can't wait to see that." Brian laughed, following Jimmy. 

I grinned down at Lexi and pulled her so her back was pressed against the front of me. With my arms wrapped around her, I kissed her cheek. 

"Basketball too, huh?" I asked, watching her turn to face me. 

"Yeah. I joined pretty much everything I could in high school to avoid being home." She muttered, looking away. 

"Why?" I asked, surprised at myself for asking. 

"My dad drank alot. He wasn't always that way. He was really mean." She said, crossing her arms. 

"I'm sorry." I told her. 

"It's ok." She shrugged. 

"You sure?" I asked her.

Lexi smiled sadly, then nodded at me. I glanced at the time on my watch. Shit. Time to get ready.

"I better get changed." I sighed. 

"Yeah. God knows you wouldn't want to be sweaty on stage or anything." She grinned at me. 

"Aren't we the little smartass today." I smiled taking her hand, listening to her giggle. 

As we played that night, I noticed the crowd was rather rambunctious. The bouncers were breaking up fights left and right. I'm not sure what the deal was at all, but some of it was getting out of hand quickly. 

I spotted Lexi down in front of the barricades that were between the stage and the crowd. She was snapping pictures, and avoiding the hands grabbing at her from the fans. 

I turned my focus back to the crowd as we went into the The Beast and The Harlot. I noticed Zack wasn't as focused as before. His gaze was focused down at the front of the crowd. 

"Matt!" Zack yelled into the mic. 

What I saw made me see red. Some fucking asshole has Lexi by the back of her hair. The guys stopped playing and I dropped the mic. I was making my way to where she was when Brian stopped me. 

"Dude, you go down there, you'll start a fucking riot!" He yelled. 

Just as I was getting ready to argue with him. I saw one of our bouncers trying to get the guy to let go of her. Lexi's elbow came up and jabbed the guy in the side of his face. The crowd let out a gasp. It suddenly got rather quiet in the arena, which never happens. The guy let go of Lexi, and I moved over to where she was standing. I laid down on my stomach and held a hand out to her. 

"Come here, babe." I said, watching her take my hand. 

I pulled her up to the stage just as one of the barricades was shoved open. Oh shit! Fans started rushing towards the stage. 

"Let's go!" I yelled at the guys, grabbing Lexi by the hand. 

This is so fucking bad. We've never had this happen before. How the fuck did they get through that anyways? I saw tons of security guards running past us to the front of the stage, while we ran towards the back room area.

"Baby? Are you alright?" I asked, making her stop. 

"Yeah. My head hurts from feeling like my hair was being yanked out of my skull." She said, rubbing the back of her head. 

"I'm so sorry. This has never happened before." I told her. 

"Nice elbow." Zack smiled at her, walking past. 

"It was a beautiful elbow jab, babe." I smiled at her, watching her laugh.

We got to our dressing room to be met with our tour manager. He informed us that we weren't finishing on stage. Said it was too dangerous. I was arguing back and forth with him. 

As we stood arguing, Slipknot had caught wind of what had happened, and they all appeared in the dressing room too. They are being told the same thing. And they are just as pissed as the rest of us are. 

"You guys, I can't let you all go out there and risk your own lives, along with the thousands of fans out there! I'm sorry! I hate it just as much as you guys do." He said, walking out of the dressing room. 

"Fuck!" I yelled. 

"This is bullshit! They got the barricades set back up." Shawn said, staring at the TV footage of the stage. 

Sure as shit, they do. The fans are chanting for us to come back out. I looked at everyone. 

"Dude, fuck him. These fans paid a lot of money to come see us. Imagine what happens if none of us go out there." Corey said to me. 

"Pandemonium. That's what will happen." Jim said. 

"Fuck it. Let's go. Everyone ok with that?" I asked the guys. 

I got head nods and verbal agreements from everyone. The guys in Slipknot stepped out of the way so we could move past them. Lexi was following me and I stopped her. 

"Side stage. Not down there. Please don't argue." I said quietly. 

"Ok." She said. 

"Thank you." I smiled, kissing her cheek. 

The rest of the night went just fine. The fans behaved like they normally do. I felt bad because I should of just gone down to help Lexi when someone grabbed her. It was eating at me that I hadn't. I expressed this to her when I finally saw her after we were done. 

"Babe, I'm sorry. I was trying to get down there to you, and Brian stopped me. He was afraid of a riot." I said. 

"I never expected you to come to my aide, Matt. That's what the security guards are for. I just helped them out a little." She grinned. 

"No, I don't like it. I saw fucking red when that happened." I sighed. 

"Really, it's ok. You have a job to do just like everyone else." She said, pecking my lips. 

"Ready to be away from everyone for the next three days?" I smiled. 

"Beyond ready. Zack is driving me insane." She laughed. 

"Me too." I smiled.


	20. Chapter 20

"No." Zack said staring at me. 

I groaned. Taking Zack with me dress shopping has been a pain in the ass. Matt had told me to go buy a dress for dinner tonight. This has become a chore. I hate dresses anyways. 

"Fine." I sighed, walking into the dressing room. 

An hour later, along with trying on thirty different dresses, I finally found one we both agreed on. It was a slim fitting red halter dress that wasn't trashy or skanky looking. It fit perfectly, and didn't show off too much of my boobs. 

"I can't do this." I sighed.

I stopped walking in the middle of the mall. The more I think about spending three days alone with Matt, the more nervous I become. Am I ready for sex? Is he going to expect it? If I am ready, will I live up to his expectations? I have so many self esteem issues now. Well, I have for years since Sid decided to cheat on me. It all isn't because of that night, though, some of it is. 

Zack groaned painfully at me. He already knows what I'm worried about, since we have discussed it alot recently. He walked us to a bench to sit down. He turned and looked at me. 

"Matt is not Sid. You need to remember this. Matt also doesn't expect you to put out. At least he better pray like hell that he doesn't expect that." He said bitterly. 

"But what if I decide I'm ready for that and I'm terrible at it? What if I freak out?" I asked. 

"Lexi, none of that is going to happen. Stop worrying about shit that hasn't even happened. I know Sid fed you a bunch of bullshit, but come on. You are gorgeous. You always have been. You have everything a man could possibly want in a woman. Stop doubting yourself. You gotta start living." He said. 

"I'm trying. It's been hard." I muttered. 

"I know. Why don't you just focus on having a nice time instead? You have a guy that practically worships the ground you walk on." He smiled. 

"He does not." I said. 

"Oh bullshit! Trust me, the man's tounge is hanging out of his face every time he sees you." Zack laughed. 

"Maybe sometimes." I grinned. 

"All the time. Come on. You need slutty underwear." He said pulling me up. 

"What!? Zacky! That is gross that you want to go with to pick out underwear for me!" I shrieked, watching how hard He was laughing. 

"It is, huh? Whatever. We are kinda past being shy around each other." He smirked. 

"True. It's still weird." I grinned. 

Let's just say, Matt shocked the living hell out of me when we arrived at our hotel. 

He rented a penthouse suite, that had it's own outdoor pool. There were two fireplaces, multiple bathrooms and bedrooms, along with a huge kitchen. The suite is the whole top floor of the hotel in Palm Springs. The view is absolutely breathtaking of the ocean. I can hardly breathe, I'm so happy and stunned. Matt finally smiled at me. 

"Was it a little too much? Probably. But, if we are going to be here for three days, I wanted us to be comfortable. And, we have everything here so we don't have to leave unless we want to." He smiled. 

I walked over and wrapped my arms around his waist to hug him. I've never had anyone do anything so nice for me. It's like I keep waiting to wake up one day and Matt is gone. Like it was all a dream. I looked up at Matt and smiled. I pulled him down for a long kiss. 

"Thank you. You really didn't have to do this. It was so sweet of you." I said. 

"Anything for you." He said quietly, staring deeply into my eyes. 

After lounging around for a few hours, we decided to get ready for dinner. I went into one of the bathrooms to shower and take my time getting ready. 

My hair laid flat for once in my life. I was pleased with it. My makeup looked perfect too. I had bought a red and black lace bra and underwear, along with a garter belt to hold up the stockings I had on. I slid on my dress, then into my black high heels. I stood in front of the mirror nervously, trying to calm myself. Knowing I had to face Matt at some point, I finally left the bathroom. 

Matt had his back to me while staring out the window at the ocean. Holy shit. He was wearing black slacks and a white dress shirt. He doesn't even have to turn around for me to see how hot he looks in it. 

I must of caught his attention, as he finally spun around to look at me. And he is wearing a black tie even! Sweet Jesus, he is like a Greek God or something. Matt smiled wide at me after staring for a long a moment. 

"Good god, could you be any hotter right now?" He muttered, stepping in front of me. 

I felt my face turn red, but I smiled at him. He smiled, leaning in to kiss me softly. 

"You look stunning. There aren't enough words in this world to describe how beautiful you look." He said. 

"Thank you. You look amazing. Who would of thought that you owned a tie?" I grinned, watching him laugh. 

"I do have one or two laying around." He smiled. 

"I almost forgot. This is for you." He said, pulling out a small box. 

What?! He felt the need to buy me something on top of all of this? Holy shit! 

And holy shit doesn't even begin to describe how shocked I was when I opened the box. A small single diamond pendant glimmered up at me. Tears welled up in my eyes as I looked up at him. 

"Matt-" I started. 

Matt shook his head with a smile and took the necklace from me. He carefully secured it behind my neck for me. 

"I wanted to do this, Lexi." He said quietly. 

"Thank you." I said tearfully. 

"No tears baby. This is a happy thing." He smiled. 

"That's why I'm crying." I said, both of us letting out a quiet laugh. 

"You ready?" He asked. 

I nodded and took his hand. 

I've never felt special to anyone before. Sid made me feel special for a while, but even before things went south between us, it was always about him. Nothing was ever about me. 

With Matt, he makes me feel like I'm the only woman on this entire planet. I never feel second best. I feel special. Important. It's such a drastic change for me. It's terrifying, yet exciting. 

Dinner was amazing. We went to this quiet Italian restaurant, and sat in a booth in the far back away from everyone. It was nice that no one approached us too. Not that I mind his fans, because I don't. It was nice to be alone for once. 

As we rode the elevator up to our room, Matt leaned down to kiss me. My hand laid gently on the side of his face as he deepened our kiss. He pulled me closer to him. I was so happy that it was just us on this elevator. 

The elevator dinged and the doors opened. Matt took my hand to lead us back to our room. Matt turned to me the moment the door was shut, leaving feather light kisses down my neck. His hands slowly drifted down my sides, only to run up them again. Both of my arms are wrapped around his neck. My god, this feels so good. 

Matt's lips trailed down my neck, then over my bare shoulder. My legs feel like they are becoming jelly. I'm pressing into him more and more for balance. Matt simply held me tighter against him. 

Everything inside of me just changed at this very moment. It was a feeling I hadn't felt in so many years. And one that I felt confident of too. I looked up at Matt when we finally broke away from each other. 

"Bedroom?" I asked him.


	21. Chapter 21

"Bedroom?" Lexi asked me. 

My heart stopped for a brief second. Don't get me wrong, I've been dying to hear those words from her. I'm just concerned that she is doing this only to please me. I don't want that. I would never do anything to make her feel like she had to have sex with me. Like she owed me, or something. 

I did all of this for her this weekend because I wanted to. Not because I expected anything in return. Lexi is special to me. I wanted to show her that. 

"Lex, are you positive? Babe, don't do this because you think it's what I want." I pleaded with her. 

"I wouldn't of said it otherwise." She said, staring up at me. 

Now I'm nervous. What the hell!? I never get nervous when it comes to this. It's because Lexi is different than anyone I've ever been with. That's why I'm nervous. 

"You're pos-" Lexi pressed her lips over mine. 

Yep. She is for real. I groaned and started walking us towards the bedroom, never breaking our kiss. 

When we reached the bedroom, we broke apart. Lexi turned her back to me, glancing over her shoulder. 

"Can you unzip this for me?" She asked quietly. 

"Uh huh." I barely got out. 

I brushed her hair to the side. My hands feel unsteady too. Christ. Get your shit together, Matt. 

Slowly, I pulled the zipper of her dress down. I pressed my lips against the back of her neck. Keeping my lips on her neck, I slowly shoved the dress down. My mouth worked slowly up the side of her neck. 

Lexi moaned quietly as her dress pooled at her feet. She turned and looked at me. That was when I noticed what she was wearing. My eyes gaped at her. 

Holy fucking hell. 

Black and red laced panties and bra. Sweet mother of God, a matching garter belt to hold up her stockings. 

"Oh. My. God." I whispered, my eyes not leaving her body. 

"Um, it's ok then?" She asked nervously. 

"What?" I asked, snapping my head up to her eyes. 

"It's ok?" She asked me again. 

"Baby, this is alot better than ok. You're perfect." I said, pulling her into me. 

Lexi undid my tie, while my mouth attacked her neck again. Her hands fumbled with the buttons on my shirt. 

"Rip it. I have plenty more." I grumbled, gripping her ass.

Lexi yanked the front of my shirt open. Buttons flew across the room in all directions. I felt her mouth on my bare chest. Her tounge running over my skin. Oh god that feels good. 

"Damn, baby." I panted, feeling her nip at my skin. 

We finally made it to the bed. As Lexi laid back on it, I finished yanking my shirt off and tossed it. I climbed over her, my mouth moving to her chest. I let my tounge flick just above her bra line. 

"Can I take this off?" I whispered, looking up at her. 

She nodded. I undid the clasp in the front of it. Dipping my head back down, I used my teeth to pull one side of it away from her. Damn, damn, damn! She is better than I had pictured in my mind. 

My mouth instantly moved over her nipple that wasn't covered up. Lexi moaned, arching her back under me. My hand cupped her other breast, gently kneading it. I switched to the other side, repeating my actions. I tossed her bra to the floor. Lexi's hands ran through my hair. 

She leaned up and found that spot on my neck that I didn't know existed until she found it a while back. I groaned, pressing my hips into her more. It's like a surge of electricity running through me when she does that. 

My hand slowly moved up her thigh. I paused just before moving to my intended target. I looked up at her. She looks a little nervous. 

"Kitten, you are in charge. You say stop, I stop. Don't forget that." I told her. 

"I know. I'm just nervous." She whispered. 

"You want me to stop?" I asked. 

"No. I'm more worried I will disappoint you." She said. 

She is dead ass serious. Disappoint me? Hell no! She could never do that. 

"That wouldn't happen baby. Let me take care of you." I whispered, slowly kissing her again. 

Lexi relaxed as I kissed her. My hand moved as it had been up her thigh. I ran my hand slowly over the front of her lacy underwear. Lexi moaned louder. 

Very slowly, I slid my hand into her underwear. I moaned when I felt how wet She was for me. I teased her gently with my fingers, sucking on her nipple as I did. Lexi's nails dug into my shoulders the faster I went. 

"Matt. Oh my god." She panted. 

"You like that baby?" I whispered in her ear, speeding up my actions. 

"If you don't stop." She trailed off, moaning louder. 

"If I don't stop you are gonna cum. I know. I want you to." I whispered, kissing her harder this time. 

I felt her tighten around my fingers. She broke away from kissing me. A loud moan rang out through the bedroom. All of this just turned me on even more. 

As she slowly eased up, I moved my hand away from her. I kissed along her thighs as I removed her stockings and garter belt, then the lacy underwear that I absolutely loved. Leaning up to kiss her lips again, I felt her hands undoing my belt. Christ, I'm afraid if she touches me, I'll be done before we even start. That is how badly I'm turned on. 

Lexi shoved at my pants. I kicked them off, still teasing her nipples with my teeth and tounge. She rubbed her hand over the front of my boxers. That simple touch made my eyes roll back. 

"God damn." I whispered. 

All of my concentration was gone the moment her hand went down the front of my boxers. When I felt her hand wrap around me, my head fell back as I moaned louder. 

"Fuck." I grunted. 

Lexi was torturing me with kissing along my neck while stroking me at the perfect pace. I can hear myself panting and moaning louder and louder. 

"I want you, Lexi." I panted. 

I looked down at her and kissed her hard. Leaning up, I pulled her hand away gently. 

"Can I have you?" I whispered. 

"Yes." She whispered, gently kissing me. 

I grabbed a condom out of my wallet that was in my pants. I looked up to see how apprehensive she looked. 

"Baby-" I started. 

"I'm ok. Just nervous." She said. 

"It's ok to be nervous. Believe it or not, I am too." I grinned weakly. 

"Really?" She asked surprised.

"Yeah." I said, leaning over to kiss her again. 

Slowly, I climbed on top of her. I shoved my boxers off, and slid the condom on. Lexi was more than nervous. She looks terrified. I took both of her hands and placed them on my face again. 

"Baby, it's just us here. It's just me." I whispered, moving her hands to my chest. 

She seemed to relax after that. She left her hands on each side of my chest as I kissed her slowly. 

"Are you ready?" I whispered. 

"Yeah." She whispered, not moving her hands away. 

Very slowly and carefully, I pressed into her just a little. Lexi gasped, tensing up. 

"I'll stop." I said calmly. 

"No. I'm fine. I promise I am." She said.

Her hands moved over my chest more. Kissing her softly, I slowly moved into her a little more. I paused, giving her a moment. She nodded at me, and I moved until I was pressed against her. I let out a loud groan. This feels like heaven. I stayed in place until She nodded at me to move. 

I kept my movements slow. Lexi is so fucking tight around me, that I am trying like hell to not move faster and harder. I will not ruin this for either of us. Not a chance in hell. 

"You're perfect, Lexi. So perfect." I whispered, moving just a little faster. 

Lexi moaned, moving her hips under me. My eyes went into the back of my skull. Damn, that about sent me over the edge. 

Together we started to move at the same pace. Things were heating up fast for both of us. I needed her. God damn, did I need her. Worse than I've ever needed anyone. 

Lexi's nails sank into my back. She started moving her hips under me faster. I took that as my queue to move with her. Her back started arching more. 

"Come on, baby. Let go. Give it to me. Give me everything." I panted. 

Just as I felt her tighten hard around me, I felt my body tense just as hard. A euphoric trance washed over me. Never in my life has an orgasm been that intense. I couldn't breathe. I can hear loud moaning and finally realized it was me. 

I collapsed on top of her, panting like I just finished a marathon. My head feels dizzy. My limbs are cement. 

Oh shit. 

Lexi. 

I leaned up and looked down at her wide eyed. 

"Oh god. Are you ok?" I whispered in a panic when I saw tears in her eyes. 

"Yeah. I'm sorry. That was really emotional for me." She whispered. 

Letting out a sigh of relief, I carefully moved away from her. I tossed the condom in the trash, and moved over to pull her against me. 

"Don't be sorry. I'm worried I hurt you." I said looking down at her. 

"No. You didn't hurt me. Everything was perfect. I've never had anyone be so kind and caring before." She sniffled. 

"I always will be. I meant what I said, you tell me what you want. Just know I'm down for almost anything." I smiled, hearing her giggle at me. 

We laid quietly, with Lexi laying her head on my chest. My hands stroked her hair gently. That was beyond words. Lexi was right, it was perfect. Beyond perfect.

There was one little thing that I had to know, and it has been killing me for a while. 

"Lex?" I asked. 

"Yeah?" She leaned up looking at me. 

"I know this isn't my business to ask, and you can tell me no, but, was Zack at least good to you?" I asked her awkwardly. 

"Oh god." Her face went red. 

"I'll beat the shit out of him if he wasn't." I said seriously. 

"Matt, Zack was nice. He really was. He shook my hand afterwards." She said. 

My hand covered my mouth. Lexi pressed her lips together. Poor Zack. He seriously wanted to help her out if you will, but felt so weird afterwards that he shook her hand. Oh god. I busted up laughing. 

"Matt!" Lexi smiled, trying not to laugh.

"I'm sorry! I can't help it!" I laughed.

She giggled and swatted at me. 

"You're the only one besides Zack and I that knows that. Don't bring it up, please?" She begged. 

"Baby, I'd never do that. I swear I wouldn't." I grinned. 

"It would hurt his feelings." She said seriously. 

"Babe, we never talked about this. I was just worried he was an asshole or something to you." I told her seriously. 

"No, he wasn't. It was awkward and weird. Why are we talking about this?" She asked, laughing. 

"I had to know, I'm sorry!" I grinned. 

"Curiousty killed the cat." She smirked. 

"I'm no longer curious." I grinned.


	22. Chapter 22

"You're seriously going?" Zack glared at me. 

"Yes. She is my mother." I said impatiently to him. 

My relationship with my parents is rather strained. My dad started drinking my freshman year in high school. He became an alcoholic, and also became rather violent towards me. He would yell and scream at me for the longest time. One day he started hitting me about a year after he took up drinking. It went on all through high school. I do not speak to my father. 

My mother was busy working two jobs to support our family. I only saw her once on the weekends. This also went on for years. She knew what my dad did, yet, she did nothing to stop it. When she finally had enough, she moved out and divorced my dad. The problem was, she left me with my dad. Her new husband has a son who is my age. I only saw them twice a month for years. I hate my step brother, and my step father. Both of them were no better than my own father with the shit they did to me. 

Out of all of this, I just wanted my mom to be proud of me. I wanted her approval. I wanted her to act like she cared about me. Anything I did in high school with sports, or getting good grades went unnoticed. Her and my dad never came to a single thing I was a part of when I was in high school. They never saw me win tournaments or get awards for my grades because they never showed up. Both were too busy. I guess I am still waiting for my mother's approval to this day. 

"Lexi, is she even going to show up?" Zack asked softly. 

That stung. The last two times I was supposed to meet her while she traveled for work, she never showed up. I desperately want her to see how hard I've worked in my career. 

"Yes, she promised she would." I glared at him. 

"Ok. I mean, it's your choice. I'm a phone call away if you need me." He sighed, getting up. 

I finished getting ready and saw Matt in the doorway of the bathroom. He smiled at me and kissed me quick. 

"You look gorgeous as always." He smiled. 

"Thanks." I smiled.

This past month, Matt and I have grown closer to each other. The three days we spent in that hotel room was nothing short of amazing. We didn't want to leave. 

"You sure you don't want me to go with?" He asked. 

"Next time. She only has a few hours." I told him. 

"Alright, babe. The car is outside for you to take." He said. 

"Thanks. I'll see you in a bit." I told him. 

I fought the busy Chicago traffic on my way to the restaurant. We were meeting at a place on the Navy Pier. I parked the car and headed inside to the restaurant. After being seated, I looked at the time. She should be here any minute now. 

I ordered an iced tea as I waited. The whole time I'm waiting, I can't get this nagging feeling out of my stomach. Butterflies did somersaults as I waited. 

Twenty minutes later, I sent her a text. Hot tears started to burn my eyes while I waited for her to respond. I had shredded the napkin and checked my phone. No response. 

I waited for my mother to show up for almost an hour. She never answered my calls or replied to any of my texts. Zack was right. I shouldn't of done this. I set myself up for heartbreak. 

I tossed some money on the table and walked out of the restaurant. I let out a deep sigh as I headed to the car. I wished like hell I had a cigarette. I'm not a big smoker anymore, but I could definitely go for one right about now. 

"Lex?" I heard behind me. 

Every muscle in my body froze at the voice. Slowly I turned to see Sid standing there. He looks better than he did a month ago. Doesn't mean I'm ready to talk to him. He scrunched up his eyebrows and stepped closer to me. 

"Why the hell are you alone in the middle of Chicago?" He asked. 

"I was supposed to meet someone. They never showed." I said, feeling how red my face was getting. 

"Matt stood you up?" He asked surprised. 

"Sorry to disappoint you, but no, it wasn't Matt." I glared. 

"I just assumed...I'm sorry. I shouldn't of assumed." He said lighting a cigarette. 

My eyes looked longingly at his cigarette. Sid smirked a little and offered me one. I took it, letting him light it for me. 

"Thanks." I mumbled. 

"Was it your mom?" He asked quietly. 

"It was that obvious?" I sighed out. 

"You only smoke when you're really stressed. I just remember the last time she did this. I'm sorry She didn't show up." He said sincerely. 

"I should of known better. It's my own fault." I mumbled. 

"No it's not. It's not your fault your mom wasn't a real mother to you. It's bullshit that she wasn't. She has no idea how much she has missed out on. It's her loss." He said. 

All I can do is nod because I'm afraid I may cry. I stood smoking my cigarette, feeling awkward and unsure of what else to say to Sid.

"Lexi, hear me out. Please? I'll leave you alone after I say this if that's what you want." Sid finally said. 

"Fine!" I said exasperated. 

"Thanks. I know I did more than fuck up. I know this. What I did is unforgivable. I am so fucking sorry, Lexi. I was an asshole to you more times than I can count. I should of been there for you that night and all the other times you needed me. I'm sorry it's taken me this long to figure shit out. I hate that I've lost you. I hate that I can't fix what we had. It kills me to see you and Matt together every day. But I know I only have myself to blame for that. As far as what happened to you that night, I can promise you that I'll spend the rest of my life trying to find a way to make it right. I don't know how, but I will." He said. 

I have no idea who is talking to me at this very moment. Everything that just came out of his mouth has shocked the hell out of me. Sid never used to admit when he was wrong. He never apologized. He never honestly cared that much. 

"Um, I'm at a loss for words." I said to him. 

"I figured." He grinned sadly. 

"But I meant every word of it. I hope that one day you can forgive me. I really do." He said sincerely. 

"I'm trying to. I'm not mad at you anymore. I think that is a step in the right direction." I said, watching him smile. 

"It is. I miss you. I know you don't want to hear that, but I do. I know you're not going to come back to me. I accepted that a while ago. I just hope that Matt makes you happy." He sighed. 

"You're serious?" I asked him. 

"Unfortunately, yes I am." He laughed. 

I smiled and put out my cigarette. Sid held his arms out for a hug. I leaned in and gave him a hug. I heard him sigh, then he let go of me. 

"Matt better treat you right. If not, he's gonna have nine very pissed off guys beating his ass. We all took a vote and agreed to it." He smiled. 

I let out a laugh and nodded. He smiled and headed into the restaurant. I let out a loud sigh and got in the car. 

Before I went back to the bus, I stopped and grabbed a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of tequila. What a fucked up day. 

I was hoping to make it back without anyone noticing I had arrived. No such luck. Brian was outside smoking with Jimmy when I pulled up that evening. Shit! 

I grabbed my stuff and got out of the car. Slowly I walked over by them. Both of them frowned when they saw me. 

"What's up, missy?" Jimmy asked me. 

"Just a bad night." I said, trying to hold my tears back. 

"She didn't show up, did she?" Brian asked quietly. 

"It's fine." I whispered. 

Jimmy pulled me into a huge hug and sighed. I felt Brian hugging me too while I was still hugging Jimmy. 

"I'm sorry, kid. I really am." Brian said when we all pulled away. 

"Makes two of us." I wiped my eyes. 

"Something else happened, didn't it?" Jimmy asked suspiciously. 

How the hell does he do that? I wonder if the man is a mind reader sometimes. I really do. 

"I ran into Sid." I said. 

"I knew it." Brian said bitterly. 

"I need to go beat his ass? Say the word." Jimmy said seriously. 

"No. We talked. Well, he talked and I listened. That was all. He said what he needed to, and I left." I told him. 

"Everything ok?" Brian asked worried. 

"I think so. He apologized a lot, which he's never done before. He also admitted to being wrong and taking responsibility for his actions. Again, all shit I didn't know He was capable of doing." I sighed. 

"Good. Is he going to leave you alone now?" Jimmy asked. 

"Yeah. He said he would." I shrugged. 

"He fucking better." Brian muttered. 

"We are gonna head in, you coming with?" Jimmy asked me. 

"In a few minutes. I just need a minute to myself." I told them. 

Once they were inside the bus, I leaned against the side of it. My head is spinning with emotions. I am surprised by what Sid said tonight. I really am. I just wonder if he actually meant anything He said to me. 

"So how was Sid?" I heard Matt ask. 

Jumping at his voice, I looked over to see Matt standing at the back of the bus. He was leaned against the side of it with his arms crossed. He looks pissed at me. 

"Fine, I guess? I didn't really ask." I said to him. 

Matt stared at me for a long moment. Slowly he crept towards me. I feel so damn nervous. I've heard about his temper, and I don't want to see it. 

"You sure? You were gone an awfully long time for your mom not showing up." He snapped at me. 

I gasped at him. What is he implying? That I really went to meet Sid instead? That hurts so much. I feel like he just stabbed me in the heart. 

"I waited for her for over an hour. I tried calling and texting her, she never responded. I ran into Sid when I left the restaurant. He stopped me. I didn't initiate anything." I rambled out.

"It's all rather convenient, don't you think?" He glared. 

"Matt, I didn't ask what he was doing or why he was there." I whispered. 

"Sure. I bet. You guys have a goodbye kiss while you're at it too?" He quipped at me. 

"No! What the hell, Matt?" I shrieked. 

"You're awfully defensive about it." He pointed out. 

"Because you're accusing me of shit!" I yelled, covering my mouth after I did. 

I can't believe I just yelled at him. I really didn't mean to. Matt raised his eyebrows at me, and shook his head. 

"You have this guilty look all over you Lexi. Let me know when I can hear the truth." He growled, walking away. 

With that being the final straw today, I burst into tears. I have no idea who that was speaking to me, but it's not the Matt I know. I guess Matt isn't who I thought he was. 

Staring at the bottle in my hand, I opened it up and began drinking. 

Fuck it.


End file.
